Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Ugh, I'll bet you're one of these party-poopers who says that carrot cake is not a vegetable!
Bubblez2009 15
It's salad alright! Did she miss some classes in school?! Well OP I feel bad for you but YouTube videos are always there for your help. Make her watch it.
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Comments (17)
Bubblez2009 15
It's salad alright! Did she miss some classes in school?! Well OP I feel bad for you but YouTube videos are always there for your help. Make her watch it.
yeongji 31
Tell her to eat a salad everyday for a week then a macaroni or potato salad everyday the next week. If she still doesn't believe you then, please make sure she takes a nutrition course at school.
Glowworm56 27
That's like saying orange soda is healthy because it has the word "orange" in it.
RichardPencil 32
Ugh, I'll bet you're one of these party-poopers who says that carrot cake is not a vegetable!
Glowworm56 27
It's not? Next thing you'll be telling me is that onion rings don't count as vegetables either!
QueenBeeGotStung 24
And vodka infused smoothies are still bad for your liver D:
RichardPencil 32
Your onion rings count as vegetables if my candy corn does, too. Deal?
Glowworm56 27
Candy corn is neither corn nor candy. It's a straight up bitter lie.
RichardPencil 32
Nay, it is such sweet deception! Truth is for dullards.
EnvyMe33 26
I'm guessing the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Kids only learn by example. Instead of making fun of her try explaining to her what's right.
Lobby_Bee 18
As a healthy 328lbs man, I respectfully disagree with you.
Misoranomegami 16
Next lesson: green salads aren't always healthy either. Especially if they're covered in fried chicken, cheese and fatty dressings.
somedudesomewher 29
Ah!! The perks of being blonde.
Starlight8 14
Oh let her eat potato or macaroni salads all she want and wait for her complaining why she's gaining some weight.
GhostFox 34
This just sounds like you failing to discuss dietary needs and healthy food choices with her when she was a kid is biting her in the ass and your embarrassed about your own failure.