Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have a speech impediment that's recently become more noticeable. My entire family has decided that the best way to go about handling it is to mock me whenever I try to say something. FML
Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML
Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I gave a presentation. My teacher deducted points because I "need to learn how to speak more confidently, because you often stumble over your words." I have a stutter. FML
Today, I found out that I have Dysarthria, a condition where you can't pronounce certain words. I can't even pronounce the condition. FML
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML
Today, I started my treatment for dental aligners. I talked to myself a bit to see how I sounded and it turns out that I have a small lisp. I wanted to share how I sounded with someone, then I realized I don't have anyone I can call. I have to wait 3 days until someone can hear my funny new lisp at work. FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, during a series of violent sneezes due to a cold, I bit my tongue. My tongue is now so swollen I cannot close my mouth and am drooling profusely. I have to get ready to go to my job as a cashier. FML
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Top comments
UserDoesNotExist 12
How did your tongue get swollen? At least tell us.
399 41
Cat got your tongue :Þ
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Comments (26)
399 41
Cat got your tongue :Þ
Lazy34 7
The leath they could do wath ath if your tongue wath ok.
UserDoesNotExist 12
How did your tongue get swollen? At least tell us.
annoyedperson 25
I'm guessing op had an allergic reaction to something. or bit their tongue too hard
sarianna 10
Or got a tongue piercing, perhaps? If they're in high school they could be of age for that.
FlutterLoud 29
That sucks, I'm sorry OP. Crazy that you'd be put in a class for having a swollen tongue. Has it been swollen for a while? I hope things get better for you.
farmgirl98 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Paybacks for piercing your tongue against your parents' wishes perhaps?
YveltalLugia 17
Where the hell did you pull that up from? Nowhere in this FML states that OP got a tongue piercing and has a swollen tongue because of it.
zedjaleaf1 11
Prove to them it's not a lisp go and chant them the "sally sells seashells by the sea shore" song.
BeautifulChaos27 37
I have a lisp, specifically with s/sh words when said back to back, so this specific tongue twister is my personal hell.
emeraldarcher74 30
That thuckth (sucks). I'd jutht wait it out, but thatth jutht me.
cheezter 15
Did you try to explain but they didn't understand? Just seen this on Bob's Burgers. Maybe someone can translate lol
ssnow_fml 20
I'm kinda concerned that your teachers are dumb enough to not realize that it's a temporarily swollen young...
caliguy08 17
Someone got their tongue pierced