Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
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Top comments
Goblin182 27
If eggs are fruit, can bacon be a green leafy vegetable? Then I can eat healthy.
LadyGagasNipple 19
Well, I guess I can tell the doctor I get plenty of fruit in my diet.
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Comments (122)
Goblin182 27
If eggs are fruit, can bacon be a green leafy vegetable? Then I can eat healthy.
Yastafari 16
Again. The American school system proves to be eggsellent
derangedplanet 23
I feel like it's almost possible this was in defense of a vegan diet. haha
Wizardo 34
We can tell she's special because of her thick skull and soft insides.
cacheson 42
I'm going to go plant some eggs now and see if I can't get a chicken tree out of them!
gracehi 33
Tell me if it works, because that would be bad ass.
TheMathMajor 26
You wouldn't get a chicken tree, you would get an eggplant XD
cacheson 42
No, see the single egg would make an eggplant. But with their powers combined... But really, an unfertilized egg has half a DNA strand. So two makes a whole chicken right?
freddygasman 18
Chickens don't grow on trees. Even first year horticulture students in high school know they grow on bushes. ;)
catdog414 11
To be fair, an egg comes from an ovary and a fruit is an ovary, so I can kinda see her line of thinking
countryb_cth 38
I highly doubt that was her line of thinking.
blackonblight 33
Really #78? That's where my brain went immediately. Maybe dad didn't understand what was being said, and a logical if:then statement was being constructed (or at least attempted) due to the fact a fruit is the ovum of a plant. Details may have muddled but there is a connection between egg and fruit in terms of reproductive functions.
Sandman2015 12
I'm sorry your daughter is an idiot.
olpally 33
Yes... Yes it ******* is...
AmIReallyRenee 20
Never in my life have I read or even heard of such a level of stupid.
countryb_cth 38
You must be new here
Richard6036 13
I now know we're doomed as a race,I guess we will be going the way of the dinosaurs !!!
Grimmerie 31
Snails don't know the scientific difference between an egg and a fruit, either, but they haven't gone extinct yet. I think we'll be fine as a species, even if a few teenagers aren't as knowledgeable as other people.
chriss2015 13
Thank you #56