Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML
Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.
bonezisme 0
nice sounds like short term hit you bad
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (728)
TurboTits 0
YDI for being a fag like everyone else who thinks they're cool and badass by smoking.
Muzition 0
Smoking weed every day does not make you stupid, but spelling "every day" as one word does make you look stupid.
omgstoparguing 10
Smoking weed absolutely does not offset any cancer effects - it is an antiemetic (antinausea) that offsets the side effects of chemotherapy. It also has the added benefit of increasing appetite in those patients undergoing cachexia, or wasting. To argue that everyone should smoke weed based off of this is like saying everyone should start doing morphine because all the sick kids are doing it.
docscientist 10
Recent studies might say otherwise; weed can prevent cancer.
marcxikk 0
337- weed is smoking= bad for lungs which can cause... lung cancer
brianjman14 23
Main ingredient in pot = THC. Cancer = a tumor. THC lowers tumor growth. So please explain how it can cause cancer? And explain how it causes lung cancer when there have been 0 deaths reported because of marijuana use?
Petunia888 13
399-there are more ways to consume it rather than smoking.
omgstoparguing 10
Also, abusing alcohol --> Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrom, which does make you "stupid", permanently. Look it up.
courtneyw2012 0
I'm 5th in my class and I do it :p haha
maddyb0214 4
Story of my life :/
stevenmx86 8
It does make you stupid douche..
wisericky 12
should have been in the kitchen. :tehe:
stevenmx86 8
I like that 77 states that your iq will fluctuate with pot as if iq is actually a quantified scientific way to measure the health of your brain lmao
TurtleBoy2015 2
nice one OP.