Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML
Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.
bonezisme 0
nice sounds like short term hit you bad
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Comments (728)
snafu63 0
no you're right. it just makes you lazy and nonproductive.
shizzle156 0
YDI for smoking weed and you clearly ate stupid if you put this on FML and expect people to give you sympathy
attatood 8
How do you eat stupid? Dumbass. Are you smoking something?
GabbyCharityM 0
347- Maybe you're the dumbass. People can make spelling mistakes easily on a keyboard. They obviously meant "are". Since "r" and "t" are close together on the keyboard, you could easily make a mistake. Man, idiots these days...
attatood 8
I was just pointing out that if you are going to call somebody "stupid", it would probably be a good idea to proof-read your post before submitting it... dumbass :/
Jrbn 0
It's funny how people say marijuana kills braincells and yet they don't know how the study was done that D.A.R.E scares in to students. They did the study by pumping Columbian bud into a gasmask with monkies inhaling or 5 minutes. Everyone needs to what The Union, perfect documentary for everyone.
Xxak907xX 0
that's what you get you ******* pot heads!
CombatBarnie 0
Weed is so stupid. I like to drive drunk and kill innocent civilians instead.
JavIin 0
Wow, You're so funny and cool and whatnot. Get a ******* life.
NoOneLovesYou 13
Stoners say "dis shit is teh gratest, its not bad!!!" Oh really? I'm sure you'd say alcohol isn't bad either, right? Just because it doesn't IMMEDIATELY hurt you doesn't mean it isn't bad. Alcohol usually has no immediately harmful effects, but it is dangerous. Don't even give me that "pot is actually GOOD FOR YOU" shit unless you've got studies from a reliable, unbiased study with a large sample that can make up for all of the shit it can cause. Remember kids: just because it doesn't kill you doesn't mean it isn't harmful.
JavIin 0
The Union, Watch it. Along with the hundreds of other documentaries on weed scientifically proven to NOT be harmful to you in any way. At all. Get your facts straight.
nickdunbar 8
lol
sickandsexified 7
dumbass.
turmonk 1
stop smoking weed
XxKaittxX 0
I love how all the stoners and burnouts are getting defensive. I occasionally smoke weed, and it makes you stupid as ****. It puts you in another state of mind that isn't natural for your body to handle. I mean, it's fun sometimes. But it does affect your brain, it will make you slow and stupid. Just sayin'.
monnanon 14
I also partake in a substance that puts you in a state your body isn't equipped to handle its called alcohol. Weed is not anymore dangerous than alcohol and any effects on the brain are temporary in most cases. It is not some sort of super evil substance.
JavIin 0
Only of thts how you react WHILE you're on it.