Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML
Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.
bonezisme 0
nice sounds like short term hit you bad
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Comments (728)
DerpyHooves 0
Hopefully, you don't smoke cigarettes too. Heaven forbid you get cancer to go along with your derp.
casaco 0
how is smoking weed everyday stupid? I smoke weed everyday and i have no problems with it . I have a good job , lots of friends, and a decent car and if it wernt for weed i'd still be with my controlling ex girlfriend
jimmehh 7
Way to prove your point! xD
skyeyez9 25
ra-tard
casaco 0
pretty douchey guy above me, u are a huge douche
darkmis1 18
I do that all the time, and I don't smoke weed. I just have a short attention span.
flakitaa22 0
it doesn't. your just an idiot.
Glidah 12
To all the people claiming to say no to drugs: alcohol is ALSO a drug. In fact, alcohol is even less healthy then smoking PURE weed. Also smoking weed is more healthy then smoking tobacco.
marcxikk 0
nope. can be laced with drugs and the tobacco is not the bad part it's the nicotine get it right please
5t3ff1k4h 47
320 - So is caffeine.
ericka216 0
I smoke every day... and I have an amazing memory, even while being stoned.. and recent studies have proven (I was told this by my dr).. that ppl who smoke daily/weekly/ or on and off.. the only 'damage' it may cause will be 60 days after you've entirely stopped. After those 60 days, your mind can start to mess with you.. but no physical or mental withdrawal symptom's...
5t3ff1k4h 47
323 - That's completely incorrect. Go back to the thread at the top of the page - the first one. Find DocBastard's post. There's your proof your doctor is an idiot. I've researched exactly what Doc posted and found it to be true.
ericka216 0
I smoke every day... and I have an amazing memory, even while being stoned.. and recent studies have proven (I was told this by my dr).. that ppl who smoke daily/weekly/ or on and off.. the only 'damage' it may cause will be 60 days after you've entirely stopped. After those 60 days, your mind can start to mess with you.. but no physical or mental withdrawal symptom's...