Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, whenever I get into arguments, I end up mixing up words. I was trying to prove a point by saying a type of chips, and was debating between Dorito chips or BBQ chips. I ended up saying "burrito chips." I said my friend would "sell me out for a bag of burrito chips." FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I found another comment online referencing, "Smoke weed everyday." With all due respect for smoking weed, when will people learn that "every" and "day" need to be two separate words in that context? This is seriously making it hard for me to focus on my work. FML
Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
It happens to the... um... what was I saying... Damn, I forgot.
bonezisme 0
nice sounds like short term hit you bad
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Comments (728)
sickandsexified 7
you're abusing your life and trashing your body at the same time. you're a real winner.
witterwindyapril 0
that's happened to me it was just cause I was tired. haha
RideOrDie1248 0
fail
zazzer13 0
I've done that too. only it was with my girlfriend
wickedlyevil96 0
yes it does obviously. go get clean you junky. or just keep killing yourself slowly. im sure its worth it
SinisterMedic 0
Woooo!! Stoner pride! I like cookies...
FailBear920 19
Stoners united!
goober5542_fml 0
who gives a **** all of you downers if you don't wanna do it And if you do have fun we Are all gonna die One day lol so loose the **** up you God dam statistics people
Jazzalyn 10
I think anyone can forget what they're saying mid-sentence. I don't and never have done weed and I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence at times.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
284, when you hang out with people who smoke weed all the time, all they really talk about is wanting to smoke weed. maybe you are the idiot, for thinking it's not addictive.
CTVrhythmguitari 8
Actually I know quite a few potheads who don't talk about it at all. That and there are no addictive chemicals in marijuana, any "addiction" to marijuana is purely of the mind. Unless of course the weed is laced with some other drug, but even then, you'll get addicted to that drug and not the weed :D
OrgasmicBunnies 9
no, there is actually chemicals and weed that get you addicted. just like weed is worse then cigarettes. before you try to defend your crop, try studying up on it too.
JavIin 0
How about you study up on it. Name the addictive chemical, buddy. WORSE then smokes!? Are you ******* sick in the head? Hundreds of people die a year from lung cancer specifically caused by smoking cigarettes. Nobody has ever died from the use of weed alone. Get your shit straight.