Today, my car insurance called about "the car I hit" on Monday night. Monday, I'd gone to the girl I’ve been seeing for a month's house for chicken parm and to meet her parents. I parked on the street. Her dad ran into the back of my car, leaving a dent. I never got the chicken parm either. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, after I arrived at work, somebody crashed into my parked car and left a big dent. The impact pushed my car up onto the curb and I got a parking ticket. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The car I hit belongs to my girlfriend's father. We never met before. He strongly believes in "first impressions." FML
Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML
Today, I went to my insurance company to deal with some paperwork. One of their employees backed into my car before I made it into the building. FML
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML
Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
This is a triple FML! In order from least bad to worst are: 1) being a victim of insurance fraud 2) being lured with chicken Parm and getting catfished. 3) thinking a house belongs to a month.
MidnaLink 35
Typical, of course it's "your" fault and not the dad's. I hope your gf can back you up there.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
This is a triple FML! In order from least bad to worst are: 1) being a victim of insurance fraud 2) being lured with chicken Parm and getting catfished. 3) thinking a house belongs to a month.
MidnaLink 35
Typical, of course it's "your" fault and not the dad's. I hope your gf can back you up there.
Marcella1016 32
How did he get your insurance information? Also I don’t know much about insurance rules, but couldn’t you argue against it, and with no proof either way, they won’t cover his claim?
slowhandjp 18
Can anyone tell me what chicken parm is?
Sady_Ct 38
Google it, it will change your life.
RichardPencil 32
I don't know, either, and I'm certainly not going to look it up on Urban Dictionary. So many nasty things there! I'll bet it's some kind of blumpkin or something. Don't look that up, either.
slowhandjp 18
Don’t look that up means look that up.
rotflqtms_ 21
Is there really a dirty meaning for chicken parmesan? tempted to urban dictionary that...RIP... just urban dictionary'd that... sand one sounds painful...
thefmlman2011 37
A chicken parmigiana is an Australian dish that you can get in RSL’s and pubs.