Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML
Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You probably shouldn't have called her a "dirty ******* *****" as you nudged her.
Aaraeus 4
Did you find anything useful while you were in there?
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Comments (131)
AwesomessMaximus 4
Haha that sucks.
bravesfan112233 0
your friend is garbage
catrav77 0
11 - why was this replied to the first comment...? does it have anything to do with it?
AwesomessMaximus 4
Sorry Kay, I've just always wanted to be first :/
DocBastard 40
Awesomess - why? What does that have to do with anything? Do you win a prize in your country/city/county/village/***** house for being first?
johnson94 5
17, I thought you always finish first in sex. there's one thing to be proud about!
chunkeechunks 0
KaySL What is wrong with you? Do you really just use the internet to vent your frustrations from your real life? I don't want to pick a fight, but you're pathetic.
AwesomessMaximus 4
Doc- I don't know, I wanted my comment to be seen without replying to the first one saying something completely irrelevant. Johnson- Funny.
KiddNYC1O 22
1-17-23: Grow some balls, no?
FUGYU 2
friends? much?
KiddNYC1O 22
I've longed to know the history between Rallets and KaySL. Though it might be too freakish.
s3xymoma 1
ha good one. number 1. I'm on your side
DocBastard 40
Saying "haha that sucks" is a good one? Holy shit, what's your definition of "good"? Or of "one"? I'm afraid your internal dictionary must be as ****** up as ChantalOwns'.
EKS1572 0
24- go away! whenever I read comments and I see your stupid username, I think "god now I can't read this one because she/he will be going off on someone again!"
urdirtyolduncle 15
KayLS just seems like she's PMSing in every comment she writes. Atleast "haha that sucks" isn't as bad as "lol," "lmao," "hahaha" or "first!"
xXJaz_SanityXx 0
Haha wow *ouch* that sux lol
nlr 9
I'm sorry same thing happened to me except my cousin purposely did it because I called hit the pillsberry dough boy and poked his stomach...
DocBastard 40
He retaliated because you insulted him. How is that the same thing?
geminiTwin4 3
because they got their head shoved in a trash can too
nlr 9
because they playfully nudged each other and then they ended up in the trash as for I who jokingly did that to my cousin that happened to me! DUH!
AnagenisisZagus 13
You sadden me.
urdirtyolduncle 15
15-- Only 9 year olds say "DUH" at the end of their explanation/answer.
chickunkey 0
DUH
ritbbehindu 0
DUH, winning
darkchocolate778 0
cool story
nlr 9
74 I can't tell if you were trying to be sarcastic but either way I'm gonna say THANKS!(:
HeavyMetalViking 0
nlr, you shouldn't be a cardiologist. Not when you go around giving people heart attacks with your stupidity.
Dez31396 0
winning!!
bodmonontheblock 0
lol 82
HubertPL 0
and being fat... go jogging
MrGold 0
#93 no need to insult on her appearance. You like a cross dressing homosexual who had his two sisters pose next to you to make you look like you get girls. Anybody can insult. An insult on her comment would have been better. Now you look like a douche bag. I dedicate to you the Mr. Douche bag song by RWJ.
slantyshanty 7
3, you are a bitch.
ribbyc80 0
you know what's funny, nlr/nir, whatever you call yourself, I have read a few fml's and all but a few has you in the negative thumbs DOWN category.... maybe it's time to consider that you may not be as smart as you think you are... just sayin
bombermanpyr 0
maybe his goal is to be the most hated/least liked person on the FML website
ohmandapants 17
You called your friend fat? You hypocritical bitch. I would have done worse than smash your head into a trash can. And cardiologist? Really? Good God woman. Let's be realistic.
ohmandapants 17
whoops cousin. Sorry. Even worse.
atomicbaboon 0
WTF?? There's no such thing as the pillsberry dough boy. #3, you're a stupid bitch. it's PILLSBURY. get it right, or just keep your mouth shut.
YacL 15
Whoa, somebody needs to calm down. She made a stupid comment, no need to get all offensive and start throwing swear words around.
awesomeloser14 0
wow seriously people. it's not like this conversation is important, a little girl made a stupid comment get over it. besides a person got their head shoved in a trash can!!! that is an interesting image there. why was Op so close to a trash can that their friend could shove them in a trash can 0.0
nlr 9
okay so apparently y'all don't know crap about me so stop talking about someone you havent even met! I'm not fat or stupid! I'm in the just right almost underweight range for my age! I'm a year ahead of the rest of the Kids in my class im actually really smart! I even made a 28 on my very first act! I know if I was so smart I could've done better but I was in 7th grade then and I studied more and got a 32 on all of the others! so if your done critizing me... thanks! and I don't care If y'all thumbs down this! I'm just an ordinary girl with opinions that I FIND USEFUL in this situation! so please leave me alone!
ribbyc80 0
if your so smart, why are you justifying yourself on a website...? I mean really, it's fml, not debate of people within the Mensa club!!
Aaraeus 4
Did you find anything useful while you were in there?
Tantalum 1
The legend of the Epic Fail Guy
glenzhao2 16
Shut DOWN. You fail at attempted flirting
atomicbaboon 0
no, Oscar kicked her out too soon. he was all "oh no you don't! that's my trash, bitch!" then she was all "I'm sorry, this is all a big..." *facepalm* then he says "I thought I told Elmo to can sit while I was out. stupid ass. he should go back to the muppets."
SubaruWRXSTI 16
His hopes and dreams.
gtwerd 0
don't start something you can't finish
Brandnewuser 0
nudged her with your ferret? did u expect her to slap it?
atomicbaboon 0
that's the cause of blueballs.
jennifer93 0
Guess you'll think twice about messing with said friend next time
DocBastard 40
You probably shouldn't have called her a "dirty ******* *****" as you nudged her.
nlr 9
how would you know they called her that?
brini_20 1
HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! oh nlr... people seem to have strong opinions about you!!! lolll! docbastard was just kidding... he really doesn't know if they called her that. he was just making a joke.
Prettyme23 0
nIr you are truly an idiot.
nlr 9
42 thank you for trying to make me feel better!(: and the other people who commented and said rude things to me becareful because my daddy's a cop and I'm not slow and idiot or stupid! i intern at hospitals, and tutor kids! I even tutor my boyfriend so I know I'm not slow!
urdirtyolduncle 15
Really, nrl? A cop for a daddy while being an intern and a tutor!? HAVE A ******* COOKIE!
HeavyMetalViking 0
nlr, your daddy's a cop, that's alright, I'll let him finish his donut before I start walking away. As for your boyfriend, he's definitely 'slower' than you for having a dumbass girlfriend.
Just_ol_Kole 0
yeah HMV, I agree, if you can't understand doc's humor, you will fail at everything on this site. Just like gayboii
da_cookie_monsta 1
What the hell is wrong with people these days...? Leave nlr alone. Honestly, it saddens me to see people talk shit about someone they don't even know.
HeavyMetalViking 0
96, be careful because all the people you thumbed down have Internet police parents. As for me, I don't talk shit, I have verbal diarrhea that even your e-diapers can't stop.
niggsby 0
you're a fail
HighAsTheStars 0
of course not, nlr.:$
nlr 9
people who call me rude names don't know crap about me! I can handle anything and I hate cookies and my dad hates donuts so thanks! and just leave me alone because your not lowering my self-esteem by pointing out my flaws your just helping me get stronger! so thanks! and my boyfriend isn't slow because I'm a year ahead in some classes! perks of not being an idiot because I actully use my brain! it's just my opinion and yours comes from 2 different people with two different brains and bodies!
sparkles0103 4
Some people just don't like to be touched. I guess you learned the hard way op!
AceArctic 4
I don't like to be touched but I don't shove people in trash cans for touching me... I bite their arms off.
akichan15 5
sex bob OMB!
khaya 9
Did you nudge her with a *****? Because she don't swing that way.
AceArctic 4
Ahh khaya, everytime I read your comments, I read them in the most stereotypical Asian accent.
sematariux 7
lmfao love it
Perdition 4
khaya, you should start leaving words out and form incomplete sentences. it'll make the whole picture to text transition a lot smoother.
randiZ25 0
I vote a majority YDI 90% You deserve it, you started it. 10% your life sucks, it was just unfortunate (yet very nicely done) that you ended up in a trash can.
skidoo800HO 2
I think it was a perfect shot
HubertPL 0
hey skidoo that's a very nice stylish method you did there one thing you can do it put your spare hand behind your head for a steezy pornstar method
RileyL29 0
idiot.
snicker476 0
haha fail much