Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
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Top comments
TCRII 30
Congratulations. You have set the bar very low, so it should be easy to impress them from now on.
kirby1964 20
Give up the weed man. Very little good comes from it, and even that does not last. Just a waste of money.
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Comments (9)
TCRII 30
Congratulations. You have set the bar very low, so it should be easy to impress them from now on.
alycion 39
Not going to give ya shit for the pot. Anyone who has experimented has tried it. I’m a patient. But seriously, get better hiding places. What rookie place did you hide it. Was it in an airtight container to dim the smell? Back in the day, those weren’t an option. I had a game cartridge that didn’t work anymore. Would pop the screws on and off. Gutted the inside. Nobody noticed. My sister would hide hers in books and album covers. Always got busted. Oh and shoes. Like nobody is going to look there when they smell it.
kirby1964 20
Give up the weed man. Very little good comes from it, and even that does not last. Just a waste of money.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Where were you hiding it, ya dumbfuck pothead? You just cost yourself a chilled out weekend. Oh, and the money you spent on your now confiscated weed.
kindameanalwaysfun 7
so. where'd you hide it?
what 1
Are they right?
jbuckets_404 39
If you actually, honestly have to ask the guy who wrote this fml whether or not his parents are right in their oh-so-obviously-correct opinion of himself, then perhaps you too are similarly a dumb*ss (aside from from any superior pot-hiding skills that you may possess, of course). Just sayin'.... Smh.
JasonThorn 23
To be fair, marijuana may be a perception-enhancer, but it is not an intelligence-enhancer.
baristalbc 18
I’m confused. Are you upset that you lost your stash or because of what your parents said about you? Hoping it’s because you lost your stash, because your folks’ comments seem on target. You may want to have one of your no -pot head friends explain the above to you.