Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
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Top comments
BlondePsycho 43
Slip laxatives into his food.
thebigslim 13
To be fair .... anyone would laugh at Dickens.
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Comments (69)
BlondePsycho 43
Slip laxatives into his food.
NightHawk387 22
Nah, man. Make it a laxative-weed combo brownie.
riffehunter 16
along with this (assuming you dont share a bathroom) you should put some sort of hard candy in the showerhead, they will disolve and he will be coated in sugar, so during the day he will feel progressively sticky, and what does he do when he comes home? takes another shower.... continue as felt necessary icy hot on the toilet seat also has great effects, but is more obvious.
NicoSnowFlame 10
#59 how many prank wars have you been in?
BlondePsycho 43
#59 I would go for switching out their usual lube or moisturizer for iceyhot.
Angelkisses130 26
Revenge time >:) that's seriously ****** up though and he could get arrested. Ahh, roommates...
incoherentrmblr 22
OP lives in Washington state, where it has been decriminalized and legal to use. If it were in 47 other states, maybe they would be arrested...
domolovesyoshi 33
The 'could go to prison' part was for spiking someone.
devildog562 33
Drugging someone regardless of legality is illegal. Even in Washington.
vikky538 29
revenge time .be a dick to your Rommate... time for a play...
RyWillieMitch 16
If your roommate enjoys theatre, it could very well backfire.
BlondePsycho 43
This actually happened to me too once but I took the form of revenge by slapping the person who did it to me. I hit them four or five times in the face because I was so high I "messed up that time so you have to let me try again."
theorangecurls 18
Uh oh! do I sense a prank ware starting up?!
bahamit 18
Not a grammar nazi but seriously ware...... On the other hand, I agree with what you meant, a prank war challenge has been issued by your FML family, you must proceed with act one, subtle revenge.
ProfessorMctitie 20
^ You sound like a grammer nazi
rylaii 26
The r is right next to the e. Really easy to add it on to a word, you would know that but your probably one of five people who don't use the qwerty keyboard.
RepDavid 7
But you ate it anyway? Even though it prolly tasted off from regular brownies?
BlondePsycho 43
Weed brownies or cookies dont always reek of weed, and if something tastes "kinda funny" but ok and you cant place the flavor, what do you usually do? Take another bite to see if you can figure it out
Bloink 25
"prolly?" lol
ChelseaxNoelle19 9
He probably couldn't distinguish the taste. Especially if he wasn't familiar with what pot tastes/smells like.
ekim300 26
Who says no to brownies?
skyttlz 32
I've had weed Rice Krispies. They don't taste that different.
iwin8166 13
But I love the word prolly. Lol
purple_bunnies 20
If it's done right you can't taste a difference. It tastes normal and then eventually you start feeling really good
Exaspera 55
If you're going to make special brownies or cookies, be sure to make a 'straight' batch because you'll go and get the munchies, eat a whole bunch of the special cookies and be high for about 24 hours of more.
thebigslim 13
To be fair .... anyone would laugh at Dickens.
emile_heskey 11
Your picture matches your comment so well
aleyp63 13
What about biggus dickus?
UhHuhHoney 20
Are you still high? Lol you didn't spell anonymous right...
MzZombicidal 36
They put "nom" in it like the word some people say when they eat. Meant to be cute or something. :P
ProfessorMctitie 20
Sounds like a good time to me
orbit 22
You're lucky, they can hit you way harder.