Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML
Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML
Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
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Top comments
iFizzgig 11
You were dropping a hint.
ohmandapants 17
Well now they know you're getting laid.
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Comments (146)
Ghoztencountr 0
Wow u are dumb
WTSchool 0
That comment is not worthy to be first. ): I was disappointed when I read it. Dear OP, I keep sticky notes in my purse for a reason. (:
Ghoztencountr 0
I thought it was worthy lol thanks for being a troll :(
iFizzgig 11
Wow, YOU are dumb.
WTSchool 0
You can call me boss.
Ghoztencountr 0
How bout I call u dick face
iFizzgig 11
You were dropping a hint.
EvilPotato 15
Nope a hint would be writing. "**** me tonight." on the paper.
iFizzgig 11
But that's too subtle.
EvilPotato 15
24 you're right, how 'bout "Don't **** me tonight. *wink, *wink*."
cyns0_oaSailor 0
23/32 commenting on your own comment talking to yourself, That's some kind of stupid.
n_epic_fail 14
When she calls you, you can bet on her using her "seductive" voice...
13FTW 9
40, I'm not sure I understand "commenting on your own comment talking to yourself" That sir, is the language of duuuuumbass.
EvilPotato 15
40 I meant 24 or are you that thick-headed to actually understand that. Please respond back.
EvilPotato 15
Also thanks for sticking up for me 46.
13FTW 9
Dude, your name has potato in it, I couldn't not stick up for you.
JustHello123 1
Haha that would be embarrassing!
ndhin831 2
Awesome plan to see if she wants to party!
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
There you go, thinking outside the box XD
iFizzgig 11
*seductive voice* Put it in. No silly! Put in your credit card. ;*
EvilPotato 15
83 put the credit card in where? O.O
LetItRise 0
Oh haro haro
iFizzgig 11
Put it in my hand. ;*
Jovecove 13
Awkwarddddd. Hope she did not see the items you bought loool
ethan9100 7
best comment ever
paulkeppel 0
maybe they will think its a hint to have some fun later and they will want to come over?;)
XenaWP 6
Or it could have the opposite effect and the person will think you're taken and never call... :(
4ugu4 7
True... ^
ohmandapants 17
Well now they know you're getting laid.
ohSNAPyall 27
And playing it safe!
effedml 5
And having buttsex! (Lube?)
djgoreo 12
The sad thing is, this guy probably isn't.
baygirl564 9
Smart choice
daffyduckdd 2
That's awesome
Cherryripe25 5
they'll think you're hinting at something ;D
bearnblue 0
Is it just me or did someone already say that O.O
holygodthatshars 0
Yeahhhhh buddy it's Nyan cat- the awesome gay rainbow poptart!
WillTay 8
What has that got to do with anything, #90?
icanseethesky13 1
He..or she, for that matter..was trying to be funny. I found it offensive. So shut up #90
babycakess10 0
it's all good lol
ScarletFever67 6
Yeah, she'll probably find if hot.
iDaniel525 8
You gotta buy your friend dinner first!
copy125 0
Maybe she'll take the hint? Lol