Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
Today, I took a friend out for what I thought was date. After dinner was over and I paid, she pulled the bill out and wrote her name phone number on it for the waiter. FML
Today, I left my number on my receipt for a cute waitress. As I was leaving the bar, she came running out and called me over. I obviously got excited. Turns out I'd forgotten to sign my slip. FML
Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iFizzgig 11
You were dropping a hint.
ohmandapants 17
Well now they know you're getting laid.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
soccerprincess7 0
Lmao that sucks! Maybe she will take it as a good thing and not in a creepy way!
metalchick226 10
Ydi why would you keep the receipt for that lol!!! I bet they got a good laugh though sorry op xD
MoonPhase123 4
Why would you write your number on a receipt? Though either way you should have checked it first
perdix 31
You'd better hope that the condoms don't break. You won't be able to get a refund without a receipt.
badactor009 0
Do you know anyone who has taken a faulty condom back to the store for a refund? I don't.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Better than trying to take the baby.
DawnMarie11 0
I'm pretty sure there was sarcasm there.
lebronsucks 3
Experience matters
omgiculol 4
thats why you havent seen her since high school. you were just too "busy" ;)
Bekavera 4
nice....lol
scrework 6
Lube. She can now be sure that you are considerate!!
JinxosGirl87 0
Feel bad for you if you have no interest in her whatsoever and she starts trying to take your relationship further. Tell her you hope you'll run into her again in a few more years.
Jollymanroper 1
Nono this is good, you'll get some she'll take the hint then you can make it into a success kid meme on memebase