Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML
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Top comments
boopityboppity 11
Ah, the joys of being a cashier. Some of the people are just so strange. This one person — not entirely unlike the OP's — came through my line with one pregnancy test and a single coat hanger. I hope it was a practical joke or something, in both of our cases.
MrBoredGuy 1
crazy old men and their sexual needs, surprised he only got one can
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Comments (102)
haha1494 0
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!!
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
Everybody needs some lovin, even old people. Just because they smell funny and look like prunes doesn't mean they can't get their grove on.
roeallen 11
I am sure he only wanted to make sure his other boxes at home would last the night.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
good on him, old people need love as well even if they smell funny and look like prunes.
CabZ_fml 0
LOL that is actually really funny, but pedophile old mans these days are crazy as f*ck.
Yeahmyass 0
dude that suxx
KayleighRenee 0
Funniest FML I've ever seen.
UnderTheMoon 0
What do you expect? Creeper: "This is for.... Uh... A presentation."
kyrarox 0
umm ew!
jmac317 0
thats hot xD
banana_buddy 6
A pinata in the shape of a penis and filled with whipped cream instead of candy? What kind of message r u sending out to the kids by making them whack a giant penis and then getting covered in cream.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
lol i had this sudden picture of Herbert the Pervert from family guy
MrBoredGuy 1
crazy old men and their sexual needs, surprised he only got one can
courtlynnnn 0
just one or a pack?
agm2010 0
explain the coat hanger?:/
Perksofbeingawal 0
Representing beamers baybaaay. Lovin' the BMW logo. ;)
mouras 5
you are so ******* melodramatic
skyyy_fml 0
someones gettin freaky tonight;D
boopityboppity 11
Ah, the joys of being a cashier. Some of the people are just so strange. This one person — not entirely unlike the OP's — came through my line with one pregnancy test and a single coat hanger. I hope it was a practical joke or something, in both of our cases.
agm2010 0
coat hanger !? explain plz ?!
takeapieandrun 9
Self-completed Abortion
ilaleahcim 6
They used coat hangers to abort babies back in the day.
agm2010 0
wow. .:( I wish I didn't ask. thanks anyways.
sh33na_is_a_punk 0
fyl that's sux
furburger 0
Scarred you for life? I could see if he touched you inappropriately, started playing pocket pool, or told you he knew where you lived. But, a creepy smile? Unless this very old man is your dad or grandpa, I think you will get over it in a couple of weeks, max.