Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up to my sister sucking my toes because she was drunk, wanted to borrow one of my toe rings but couldn’t get it off, and thought spit would lubricate it off with her tongue. She doesn’t even live here, it’s my house. She used her spare key to get in at 1 a.m. FML
Today, I ended up sleeping on the dirty floor because my sister didn't want to share a king size bed with me. She got up to get a drink and stepped on my face. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JMTS 0
This MAY be a run-on sentence.
cupcakesnpot 9
I'm sorry, but she would be buying me a new phone.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
MegaTroller_fml 5
She probably wanted to find some water.
copy125 0
Your name suits you, you troll lol
linstar 13
OP hope you wrote this post after you put your boot up her ass! Bitch needs to learn.
youcunthole 0
I hope she was in one of those photos
EvilPotato 15
1 I doubt that.
Hannahrayne 0
Make sure you get a lock on your door..
DanGleesak 11
Maybe she thought the water was vodka?
JustHello123 1
woww drunk sister lol kick her ass
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
I dont believe it!
Twincest 11
All of this could have been avoided if OP had the balls to take his sister in his bed and fck her brains out!
MZPONY 7
91 - You're an idiot for 2 reasons: 1.) OP is a girl, therefore stop referring to her as a 'he' 2.) She lives in Australia, not Kentucky.
mustardcat 1
She needs to get laid Nice mustang mzpony
FYL_You_Failure 1
she was probably mad at you anyway for not being her DD lol
EmreArslan 11
Guess she loves u ;)
Gorillaz23 9
At least no one got injured... Right?
tellithowitis 13
No, left.
xcarxcrashx 9
The phone did.
spazticdonkey 0
Well then
thisisafunnyname 12
OP got injured...inside...thats where it hurts the most. jk it hurts most to get kicked in the balls
JMTS 0
This MAY be a run-on sentence.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I don't think it technically is, but splitting it up would definitely help it flow better.
bizarre_ftw 22
Alert!! Hawthorn has returned and is on FML!!!!!!
xcarxcrashx 9
So many commas!
TurdTickler4eva 0
Commas need lovin too and fyl OP goodluck with ur phone
SirObvious 1
Maybe your sister is drunk.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
66 - your picture scares the **** out of me.
KiddNYC1O 22
82- Quick! Refer to the Zombieland rules!
spazz666 18
Shit made me lol
Sgt_Minty 0
MAAAAAAAYBE
PrincessesCrown 17
84: Double Tap
iFizzgig 11
Roid rage
copy125 0
That doesn't even make sense towards the FML
Jennyboo5797 4
She's just really really accident prone :o
iFizzgig 11
Read it again, yes it does. Slamming door, force so much that frames fell to the floor, yeah roids.
copy125 0
No lol. Isn't even close buddy, look up roid rage then tell me if your comment makes sense.
iFizzgig 11
Fine you win, I was WRONG!
iFizzgig 11
This is what happens when I don't wear my reading glasses. I look like an asshat.
iliketurdles 7
I don't think your reading glasses has much to do with that. Good effort tho'.
xcarxcrashx 9
I actually lol'd at the use of "roid rage" why is it not funny?
copy125 0
It's funny, I just said it has nothing to do with the FML
iFizzgig 11
Thanks for correcting me though, seriously :)
proxxX069069 7
Lol sounds like something my sister would do
Playful1985 9
Intervention anyone?
vb68_fml 28
Put a lock on your room!
lebronsucks 3
Who would lock their room door?
omgcookeys 15
Teenagers would.
cupcakesnpot 9
I'm sorry, but she would be buying me a new phone.
crinx034 0
And maybe multiple broken picture frames.
btstig 11
Why would you want someone to buy you broken picture frames????
crinx034 0
Whoops I meant buy NEW frames for the broken ones...
SouthernKiller 4
Perhaps a locked door would stop this from happening again. But since it already happened I'd say flush her phone down the toilet.
jonn090 13
Hang that bitch
lenamartinovic 13
Not everyone can lock their doors. In all the houses I've lived not a single door allowed me to lock them.
Bambi0069 17
That's why I put a lock on all of my doors. Doesn't cost much and it kept my stuff safe and sound from sticky fingers.
Cherryripe25 5
your sister sounds cool..
4ugu4 7
Yeah, what makes her sound cooler is how she spilled water all over OP's new phone. I wish I had a sister like that. >.>
KiddNYC1O 22
I'd say obnoxious.