Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML
Today, I have a UTI that spread to my kidneys, a yeast infection, and a herpes outbreak. Oh, and my period came this morning. FML
Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML
Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Don't think you really had a chance with the hot doctor -- to him, you're just another asshole.
speshlk37 13
It's the perfect storm...
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Comments (149)
speshlk37 13
It's the perfect storm...
putloginhere 6
Of hell
_ebbonyy 11
some doctors have to see and do some disgusting things so f both yours and the doctors lives in this scenario!
mhopper 13
Hopefully diarrhea doesn't make its way into this equation =
DocBastard 40
Ebbonyy - The difference between doctors and patients is that only one gets embarrassed during a delicate procedure. Doctors are professionals who have seen it all and then some. If you don't believe me, there's a certain blog you should read.
abceasyas123abc 12
Love the subtle self-promotion, DocBastard. (The blog is really good though. It's been bookmarked in my Safari.)
mrsVoltzie57 12
I love the blog too... Doctor's are trained to handle these situations so only OP was worried!!
llamafish 25
Doctor's whats are trained to handle these situations?
Llamacod 11
doctor's brains, doctor's brains are trained to handle these situations
causticgirl 6
Despite the fact that the doctor has probably seen it all and then some, OP has most likely not. So I feel your pain OP and your embarrassment.
peachyFML 17
Doc, I just read your entire blog today! I'll definetly be checking for more stories. :)
spazz666 18
It's probably not very comfortable, even if OP isn't embarrassed about it. Hell, going anywhere when you have your period can suck if you have really bad cramps, so I imagine a doctors visit with an attractive doctor probably didn't make it any more bearable.
efrainelboricua 12
Off the subject that hair is epic ^
lfrye 6
Oh no......
NickyK 25
Hell on earth has just begun.
gracehi 33
Oh yes ;)
wastingtimeonFML 7
Now that's worthy of a 'FYL'
gill4liife 0
Now that's a bloody situation!
blondebrunette11 4
Either tell the doctor you're on that time(he should understand) or let him figure it out on his own... Your choice.
Jiinxx 8
awkward situation is awkward.
Dr0reos 8
The mental image that came with it... *cringes in disgust* ohh sweet zombie jesus
kamikrazy 6
#3. Your profile pic makes your comment perfect.
L3g4lPl4typus 0
I concur
perdix 31
If the hot doctor is anything like Bad Santa, you won't shit right for a month!
onlychildFTW 34
Bad Santa? What's that? Colonoscopies are not fun. Not fun at all. I had one once. Hot doctor as well. Hope you feel better OP.
Llamacod 11
uhh, onlychildforthewin, to be a little off topic here, I read your profile and I hate to burst your bubble but rocks aren't actually alive so to say it changes over its lifetime is not really accurate
onlychildFTW 34
76 - don't care. It's staying the way it is.
SenorOlive 3
-76 Not sure if trolling or stupid.
buck33 14
76 is not worthy of the Captain America shield.
DespairFaction 11
Hmm for the win...I would have gone f*** the world.
trollcrusher 17
120- Both. A person usually has to be an imbecile to be trolling.
fsimmo 0
Omg!!!!!
kandi_kid69 15
If you're just going to say "omg" why comment?
RealReasons 0
Mother of God...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This awkward moment calls for zoidberg. (V) (•,,,,•) (V) < WHOOPWHOOPWHOOP!
poopycat 5
Well shining armor, Celestial doesn't have a mother. (that's alive For that matter)
thiscrazything 1
Three bad things is always followed by something really good. Hope you get some really good news today!
DollGoneWrong 0
Maybe she will receive good news from her colonoscopy. Or maybe she will receive terrible news. There might be a family of worms breeding in her anus. So much that it would be impossible to heal. Then they would start a revolution and take over the body that they had claimed since the beginning as theirs.
Il_Maestro 6
Quick shout out to 32 for looking at the glass as half full. Of worms.
skoob1 12
Bad news, you have anis cancer, your ass stinks, and there is a weird discharge in you pants. Good news... NCAA Lacrosse season finally started :/
buck33 14
113 - NCAA lacrosse season is pretty much over. Championship is tomorrow.
buck33 14
Sorry I mean today.
GeoffreyPjs 2
anis?....
pbonham 22
Sounds like fun..... NO!! I wish you were lying :(
rahrah765765 11
Wow you would have looked like a 'licorice all sort' after he finished with you.
Jac_d_ipper 10
Damnit, it really sucks
SliceOfCake 9
I know right!?!? It should totally be posted on a website dedicated to things that ruin people's lives! Oh wait, it is. Get out.