Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
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Top comments
whateves997 19
You win the biggest asshole of the year award you prick!!! Why just why?
TheGreastest 24
That's messed up op. just own up to it, it's better than letting your dad be in pain
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Comments (86)
HeWillBeLoved105 22
It was ****** up the second you started flirting with her. Your father needs you. Your poor father didn't deserve that.
Fidge 18
Sure it's ****** up he let his old man take the blame for the fart but I don't see what's wrong with flirting with her while his old man is sleeping, it not like he could do anything for him till he wakes up anyways!
tdawg91 17
Because a nurse should be able to go about her day at work without some twit hitting on her while she's trying to care for her patients
Fidge 18
and how do you kno the nurse didn't start to flirt with him first so maybe she was the one wasting her own time!
julieg88 3
Why is this an FML? It's not your own life you edged up here, it's your dads.
zehtinyapple 17
She doesn't really sound like a very good nurse in the first place. If the father can cry out in pain then I would think that he could also tell her that he did not in fact relieve himself.
missamberrose 17
That's definitely not true. Anyone can scream, it doesn't necessarily mean they can talk.
catherinecas 30
Nurses also check you while you're asleep. When I had surgery my mom said I just screeched at the nurse when she checked me.
Steve97 32
You're an awful son and for what? Just so that a nurse that's already too good for you to know that you didn't fart?
lindaholmes 4
Why would you even post this ?your poor father
FitFriday 32
It's called FML for a reason
netflixislove 32
More like FDL
theotherguyss 3
This gives a new definition of being a "crappy" son.
thenielsens 12
Gotta get ya some balls buddy
khoov19 20
you are a shitty son
CaliGali 9
Thinking with your penis..
WOTAN1488 24
You prick. You could have so easily said 'it was me no worries' and laughed it off together.