Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML
Today, I farted in bed like my parents do. It sounded like an unexpected trumpet. Luckily no one was nearby. I usually don't fart. It took me by surprise. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
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Top comments
ojosRojos 28
“Now my entire family knows I’m a normal, healthy human being.”
medyas 11
Your mom vastly overreacted. People who don't fart in their sleep don't exist. (better out than in!)
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Comments (18)
medyas 11
Your mom vastly overreacted. People who don't fart in their sleep don't exist. (better out than in!)
RichardPencil 32
* Shrek is not a licensed healthcare professional.
ojosRojos 28
“Now my entire family knows I’m a normal, healthy human being.”
RichardPencil 32
Do they shun you now? I’m pretty sure everyone farts in their sleep. At least you didn’t puke in her bed (and you’re not engaged to her which would make this story even more Oedipal!)
PennyLane27 32
Everybody farts in their sleep, OP. Even the people in your family! :) My son has a built in butt alarm though. He farts himself awake every morning without fail. Usually he's still half asleep when it happens so isn't fully aware. It's how we know whether he's actually waking up or not. 8.5 years and it's never been wrong! He thinks it's hilarious. So do we!
manb91uk 22
My brother is exactly the same... You could set your watches to his morning butt-cleanse
manb91uk 22
Erm... Everyone farts in their sleep...
weeping_willow 25
Everyone farts in their sleep, op... “Better out than in”
Headda 5
Wth were you doing sleeping in your moms room? Are you 5? Lol
Mungolikecandy 19
Everybody farts sometimes.
demix_fml 32
Ummm, everyone farts in their sleep...... your farts must of been extra bad. 🤢
BurnInDemonFire 39
You wanna be careful letting them have so much knowledge of your bodily functions. When they find out you breathe, you're screwed.