Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
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Top comments
khorstmye 15
He knew. He was trying to take the attention away from you so you wouldn't be embarrassed.
cutycat136 28
Own up to it. If he takes it bad, maybe not a choice for you. Considering everyone has to fart sometimes, he should understand that it happens. Shouldn't be a big deal.
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Comments (82)
LastResort318 14
Everyone farts so just own up to it when you do.
TheCookieComet 23
lies normal girls don't fart everyone knows that. this girl should seek medical help
Livelife121 30
Girls don't fart. We let out a pleasant smell of daffodils
teazyfisher 15
#23 exactly, but this girl's own must have been mixed with some ammonia.
iAlissa 34
Actually, I fart. I emit a pleasant aroma of lilac all while glitter and rainbows shoot from my ass.
KB503 15
Atta kid
Pink185054 16
Well it looks like you're in a stinky situation
CODplayer4lyfe 24
No. Bad.
Llama_Man2000 26
Don't worry, if the date is kind then they won't mind and they will realise it is just a natural thing.
Jake42100 17
He knew it was you,He just didn't want to csll you out on it...
devildog562 33
I want to know what you ate to make him think it came from the engine.
wtffml1979 22
I agree!! And just cause of being curious, what in hell comes from the car that goes wrong and smells like a rank fart??
poostickles 14
#18 a dodgy catalytic converter will make it smell like a pleasant mix of sulfur and demon farts
giantsfan2010 23
The engine used a different kind of gas though!
khorstmye 15
He knew. He was trying to take the attention away from you so you wouldn't be embarrassed.
codytallica 38
Either that or he is an idiot for mistaking a fart for an engine problem.
interesting33 37
But if he knew couldn't he have simply ignored it? Pretended nothing happened? It sounds like it was silent.
thenameisfatma 23
#59 But what if the smell was so bad that there was no way he didn't smell it so he just wanted to assure her that he did smell it but he's going to ignore it and make it seem like it came from the car?
Bongo_69 8
Don't worry, he probably did it too
usaidwhat82 21
I'd probably feel embarrassed too, but in the future, just tell him. It happens to all of us. :-)
interesting33 37
why was this thumbed down?
cutycat136 28
Own up to it. If he takes it bad, maybe not a choice for you. Considering everyone has to fart sometimes, he should understand that it happens. Shouldn't be a big deal.
stevenN659 24
I fart heaps, they dont stink though. just noise haha
SteamyPenguin 46
#17 Sure sure. I've heard this tale before. When we started dating my husband said that '...they are predominantly noisy, not smelly.' HE LIED!!!!
teazyfisher 15
#20 THEY ALL LIED!!!