Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
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Top comments
arano 29
**** the kids life. I can't say I wouldn't have found it hilarious though.
BalamCruz 14
Do you smell it? A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells smelly
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Comments (50)
arano 29
**** the kids life. I can't say I wouldn't have found it hilarious though.
incoherentrmblr 22
No harm, no foul to you, except what escaped your ass...
Oley 27
Well who else could she have blame ( if she didn't know it was you)? Maybe the dog that wasn't there? Ha. :)
Brandi_Faith 34
I bet she felt pretty stupid when she looked down his pants and realized he didn't do it!
BalamCruz 14
Do you smell it? A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells smelly
britbear0731 9
what is this from??
hacksaw246 24
From the greediest crab to ever walk the sea floor.
fpants2010 18
*Wide eyed* ANCHOVIES!!
Lurmin 12
Anyone have a Hydro-Dynamic spatula on them?
Technastar 25
Right here! With port and starboard attachments; and let's not forget the turbo drive!
Zebediabolical 45
..and that's when you owned up to it, right OP?
nix1993 41
Like you would've done?
Zebediabolical 45
Pissed, probably not. Insanely pissed, absolutely.
countryb_cth 38
I'm guessing OP was scared the mother would turn on him
Zebediabolical 45
Better me than the kid, in my opinion. Especially for something that I know with absolute certainty isn't the kids fault. The blame game for farts is fine. Until someone starts flipping out.
jarrahj 19
That's a shitty thing to do
LilMissCanadian 22
Here we go again
R2Y2 22
I give op props, **** your pun
ragnarok1540 39
If her kid ***** his pants often enough that she would jump to that conclusion, one would think the kid would still be wearing diapers.
sillygirl247 14
Maybe they are potty training
MamaChey 24
OP forgot to say the the kid is 12...
onlychildFTW 34
Well he could have been wearing diapers under his pants. When I was younger I wore diapers but also wore pants! So if I took a dump in my diaper it was technically also in my pants.
xGoldColossus 7
**** that kids life not yours. This is hilarious
fuckfuckityfuck 16
Shit happens! I'll let myself out.
may14th 26
Just let it happen
FelicityWishes 32
Least you didn't get the blame :D