Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
whateves997 19
You win the biggest asshole of the year award you prick!!! Why just why?
TheGreastest 24
That's messed up op. just own up to it, it's better than letting your dad be in pain
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
LoverWordsFood 27
I think you should apologize to your father for him taking that bullet for you. It is kinda an asshole thing to do to your dad by putting him in that situation after him having surgery or whatever he's in the hospital for. It would be a nice thing for an apology and flowers and chocolate.
PurpleSprite 7
Chocolate? Did you say...chocolate??
Jasim 17
Don't be hard on yourself. People get nervous and do stupid things in these situations. Wish your dad the best of health.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Only this wasn't stupid. It was blatantly inconsiderate. There's a difference.
Jasim 17
Give OP a break. He was nervous. Weren't you ever nervous and did a stupid thing before?
khoov19 20
we've all done stupid things but I can garuntee its a shitty thing to do to tey and prosper in any way from taking advantage of a loved one's pain...this OP is a fucktard!!!!
trellz17 19
#39, You ok man?
missamberrose 17
I've had a dying parent screaming in agony in a hospital bed before. There is absolutely nothing that could make me allow them to be in more pain. OP's father may not be dying, but it's still his father. OP sounds incredibly selfish and immature.
chikinscratch00 8
lol your a lil bitch
happysmile987 24
Should have told her "who ever smelled it dealt it"
martin8337 36
Whoever denied it supplied it.
brittaaany_93 38
Who ever made the rhyme did the crime.
mukduk 21
Whoever refuted it, tooted it.
1dvs_bstd 41
The smeller's the feller.
bgorch01 11
The napper's the crapper?
PurpleSprite 7
OKAY IT WAS ME
kbecks87 16
Wow. YDI and you're an ass.
randomheartthrob 7
That's messed up dude. Own up
Enslaved 38
Why didn't the nurse just think your dad farted and wait a few minutes? Sounds like she was more interested in checking out what's in your dad's pants then your flirts.
tdawg91 17
Because a good nurse wouldn't willingly leave her patient lying in their own shit for any amount of time
fmlsams 27
This is quite possibly the most horrible FML I've ever seen. How could you do something like that??
Ikashy73 14
I beg to disagree, I really can't remember a more awful FML since I've been here. And I've been here waaaayyyyy too long.
gm1beanzz 14
Flirting with a nurse while your dad is in pain is just a dick move.
xoamy906 25
And then putting him in pain because of something you did and refusing to own up to it is an even bigger dick move
ma12r 22
As funny as that sounds. It's still kinda sad you let your dad suffer cuz you had to let one rip. Next time just own up. There's always other nurses.