Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
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Top comments
Amateur_Dank 17
I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for
tygerarmy 35
Tell your dad to quit farting around.
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Comments (35)
MisterKnowItAll 15
He just doesn't want to think he's getting old.
1dvs_bstd 41
hmm, how's that relevant to his age, again? It can happen to anyone regardless of age or gender.
igive 29
It even happens to my dog.
Cads1 24
Why were you there to even see what happened? Unless you were screwing around that is.
cupcakebruh 21
He could have been in the living room taking his nap on the couch. I don't think my dad has ever taken a nap in his own bed..
tygerarmy 35
Tell your dad to quit farting around.
rnarshmallow 21
I'd record it next time.
Pacers13 11
Well she probably wasn't expecting him to do that.
Amateur_Dank 17
I would take the bitching just to watch someone farting their way into consciousness... these are the moments we live for
20bricks 28
Fart on him to prove dominance.
enginsteve 17
My dog does the same thing! lol
Greattitan2 13
I guess farts can be silent and deadly
katydid91 31
This particular fart was clearly not silent but was quite deadly.
ChristinePi 36
The bitching was his way of acknowledging that it was true and him being embarrassed about it. Sorry OP, your dad is just ashamed of himself that that happened.
beeferjay 34
hes been eating way to many twinkies... twinkies on the brain
katydid91 31
Was this a reference to something? And are you certain that it isn't you that has Twinkies on the brain?