Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML
Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML
Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML
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Top comments
Rawrshi 25
I have a sneaking suspicion that she isn't actually doing much sleeping in your room, OP.
FML_HelloItsMe 15
OP.Take the ***** and casually leave it on your mothers bed while she is laying on it.
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Comments (26)
FML_HelloItsMe 15
OP.Take the ***** and casually leave it on your mothers bed while she is laying on it.
Siehnados 17
I'm trying to think of a worse situation, at least she didn't use your toothbrush I suppose?
Eldslibo 20
Using it as a *****, or for brushing her teeth? It can always be worse, but finding your mother's toys might be high on the list of things you don't want to find in your bed.
Rawrshi 25
I have a sneaking suspicion that she isn't actually doing much sleeping in your room, OP.
StiffPvtParts 43
I'm no expert, but perhaps she sleeps in your room because she misses you when you're away? Now, the question is... just how badly does she miss you? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
justfrofro 7
This is beautiful
Tripartita 45
Your phrasing makes it sound like you stopped to chat with it. "Oh, hey man. What have you been up to?" "Not much. Just got out of your mom's ******. You know how it is." "I hear ya. Did that once about eighteen years ago. NOT my thing. I cried for months."
GekGek 4
this is just.. art.
Qandol 26
Reading this disturbed my mind it's just so dirty to even picture it.. time to Bleach OP.
thearronaut 10
Oh, ewwwww, ******* disgusting! Burn your damn bed op
cloviss 8
You poor soul ? at least it was your foot and not your face or something
Mitsko 6
Can you imagine him stumbling on his moms ***** head-first? Or poking his eye? Now that would be a great story for the er xD
KyoshiroT 32
You should probably lock your bedroom next time you leave.
tosdyke 16
That's just plain wrong on so many levels...