Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead." FML
Today, I got home with stomach pain and immediately did a 10 second long farting, splattering, spluttering shit into the toilet. Now I know the walls are thin in my flat, but I wasn’t expecting the hot guy next door to say to me through the wall, “Jesus, are you alright in there?” FML
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
Today, my husband left our bedroom to go turn the thermostat down in the hall. I let out the smelliest fart, so bad that I had to blame it on our baby. He laughed and said, "I leave for one second and come back and it smells like a sewer in here." FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
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Top comments
UnluckyLatina 22
He probably did it to not embarrass you, he's a keeper.
_kyleG_ 34
Gotta love a man with an escape plan
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Comments (102)
ZelmaSlayer 30
Well that stinks!
Sandsh8rk 36
What a waste of a perfectly good comment opportunity.
Morning_fml 22
Damn it, #1. You had ONE job!
nickaa827 13
shut your face
UnluckyLatina 22
He probably did it to not embarrass you, he's a keeper.
legendairy3000 16
If he wanted to do that then he wouldn't have said anything.
dont_touch_my_ca 8
Nope, he probably did it so he wouldn't have to smell farts.
ExtremeEncounter 32
Maybe it would be best to try and contain such vile fumes to the inside of a toilet bowl lol
cari_cat 19
Toilet bowls are like amplifiers of farts! Bad bad advice!
ExtremeEncounter 32
That's why you close the door.
HeartYou101 31
#37, believe it or not - Farts can still be heard through a closed, locked door! I think it's because of these 'ears' everyone seems to be on about lately, maybe you should invest in some if you didn't already
YuckyDuckyLucky 17
Ehm, did you read the FML? It said house party. Where I come from house parties are extremely loud. The advice you guys are making fun of is the best advice I've seen so far..
Fymlife 14
#49 OP said the fart was silent, closing the door would help prevent the smell to escape.
ExtremeEncounter 32
#49 Lol did you even read the FML? The problem wasn't the sound it was the smell.
ExtremeEncounter 32
#27 I don't think toilet bowls cause farts to smell worse. In fact they don't.
PandaLoverNicole 9
She was talking about the sound.
gintwinsmoore 20
#75, #27 didn't say they'd smell worse or better, #27 was merely saying that going to a bathroom and sitting on a toilet would contain the smell instead of farting right in the guy's face!
ExtremeEncounter 32
#77 Indeed, but should one read the FML one would realize that the problem is smell, not sound.
ExtremeEncounter 32
#78, 27 said it would amplify, she never said of anything being contained better.
BrettB321 15
Oh yeah cause the guy had his face in between her ass
Steffi3 40
At least he cares about you and your safety
GAMERZxxHD 25
Seems like you are in a stinky situation.
Sandsh8rk 36
Why do people continue to do this?
arianarochele 9
Why do you continue to troll? ?
ptellini 7
He mistook your fart for a gas leak in the house? Not smart but seems like a nice guy.
santosb1 11
That's what he wants you to think.
theTravinator 21
It seems as if the natural gas leak came from a different source
_kyleG_ 34
Gotta love a man with an escape plan
wakemeupplease 21
Phewww it was so close to ruin the whole thing lol
ZombieVampirez 24
You might wanna go see a doctor for that. Or clench a little tighter til you can go outside