Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
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Top comments
Trivision 10
Well shit.
JustJumped 22
Surely someone had a tissue
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Comments (162)
RedPillSucks 33
I heard it took the best man about 20 minutes of rubbing his hand around in order to clean them off. 10 of those minutes was of him rubbing in places other than her breasts.
Perdition25 12
I bet OP really wished they still allowed rice to be thrown. Sweet revenge!
hntandjlt 8
I'm soo sorry. But I hope other then that everything went great for you!
TecheyTim 14
Well that makes for a "shitty" situation...
SpartanMerc 18
I wouldn't consider being pooped on during one of my most anticipated moments a sign of good luck. Why not have your hubby to be take his handkerchief out and wipe it off? would have been what I would do.
emuexport 4
Did you get more white substance squirted between your boobs later :)
tehdarkness 21
You really should have paused and cleaned it!
imagineapc 11
You deserve it for not having enough sense to WIPE IT OFF. Seriously?!
ballpython 15
Did the groom not have a pocket square? That would have worked nicely in your situation.
jw90 18
Perfect wedding gift.