Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
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Top comments
Trivision 10
Well shit.
JustJumped 22
Surely someone had a tissue
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Comments (162)
laurieblue 1
hahahaha sorry but that is hilarious....too funny to be true
Ranimal 12
You might have a hard time coping with all the other FMLs then. Just sayin.
InnocentWings 13
wonder why it wasn't wiped off
chenny64 8
Being pooped on by a bird is good luck
Kiwiscanfly 19
Crap, that's a shitty situation.
imtooshy 18
My mom always said when a bird ***** on your head its supposed to be good luck. Not sure where she got that saying from and if it can apply to your boobs as well but hopefully it will bring you two honeymooners good luck too, congrats :-)
worldclassrager 41
First wedding gift...make that worst wedding gift...
Obey_StudBoii 23
I bet that'll be a wedding for everyone to remember. Cheer up OP thing's could have been alot worse.
Neesalun 20
That must have been distracting! At least it didn't get in your hair or on your dress.
How_you_doin 10
Are you the girl that was proposed to via the Angry Birds app???? if so that was just the little birdies giving you a BIG congrats!
guttedbrit 26
Apparently being pooped on by a bird is good luck! It could be a blessing!