Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Trivision 10
Well shit.
JustJumped 22
Surely someone had a tissue
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
Inked0803 12
The birds present to you on your wedding day.
twinkiefeets 17
Your wedding party couldn't hand you a tissue? Your maid of honor sucks.
mameburgess 7
a bird pooping on you is supposed to be considered good luck.
Phfaithe 1
What party poopers.
Brainnnnz 19
I really don't think anyone would have minded if you cleaned yourself up... I'm sure there was at least one crying woman attending that had a spare tissue.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Ok, today was your wedding day and you are on FML, I don't think your marriage is built for the long haul. Bird poop will be the lasting memory of your nuptials .
JitzKing 8
It's good luck! Plus, the bird loves your chest as much as your husband does!
JitzKing 8
The fact that you didn't wipe if off, your husband is now thinking he could give you a present of his own...Cleveland steamer...
TheModernPatriot 14
That is too awesome!
Mightytall 35
How on earth did you not ask someone to find you a damn hankie to clean the poop off? Shit happens, then you deal with it. Just standing there letting the poop ruin your perfect moment? YDI