Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML
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Top comments
jrod_fml 0
How terrible! But, honestly, you shouldn't be playing ball in the house. Didn't you're parents teach you anything?
Chris968 0
Wasn't it moving or something? I was born legally blind and even I can tell the difference between a living thing and a soccer ball...
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Comments (277)
kamikaze_fml 0
HAHAHA thats just dumb, get contacts fool.
mylifesucks_alot 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Excuse me for laughing because that really is terrible, but you have no idea how f*cking funny that is. Still, I hope the dog is okay.
futtgoredo 0
I dont
englandaj 0
me either. never liked poodles
ladypatience93 2
isiot
haleyisawsomee 0
:0 asshole!!!!
hubbabubbba 0
wow....
Sammyb123 0
Oh my god, I haven't laughed so hard in ages
lizzilla8297 2
you all are horrible. you people that hate dogs. that's just mean and misdirected. and op for killing a little, innocent, dog.
queencitystoner 0
omg this made my day
iEnvade 2
249 - I don't believe OP said they killed the dog.. and you know nothing about the dog, so don't go making assumptions.
4everblackjack 10
LMFAO I laughed so hard too :,)
Ghostsofascalon 4
A small dog usually doesn't survive a hard kick and falling down a flight of stairs… Karma is going to hit you like a bitch OP.
littlecuntcats 6
Did it say he killed it?
MasterGamer591 13
If you had blurry eyes and thought it was a soccer all does that make you a bad person to?
Cyanide03 7
My little cousin threw his grandma's toy chihuahua down a flight of stairs. Surprisingly she was unscathed; shocked and afraid, but okay.
czyk_it 5
Im a dog lover. Currently have a 10 yr old black lab/golden retriever mix. She's cutest friendliest dog ever. Love spending time on walks and spoiling her with attention. Even I laughed at OPs fml. I do hope the dog is ok
xxlowsnip3rxx 16
are you ******* moronic!? he didn't say it died you ******* failed abortion
quickit 24
I cringed up when reading this
jrod_fml 0
How terrible! But, honestly, you shouldn't be playing ball in the house. Didn't you're parents teach you anything?
fatalkiss 0
lmao he kicked it out of his way, not just for fun. I LOLed
blankaex 0
Kicked it out of the way? How hard is it to step OVER a soccer ball?
PaperCaper 11
It wouldn't matter if he just kicked it out of the way, but he had to FORCEFULLY kick it out of frustration. Also, apparently in the direction of a staircase.
Jimboom 12
ROFL!! Top FML. But yea, seriously, get contacts. Or stop being an idiot and kicking balls inside the house. Just imagine, if it had been a ball it could have done a lot of damage to their things... not just their dog.
PurpleLlamas 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
5-he does he didnt have them in though...otherwise he wouldve been wearing glasses to the friends house smart one
caleb_9756 14
#252, Did.. Did you even read the FML?
photographygal 0
all i can say is "woooooooow"
tehhotness 0
HAHA, the only way this could be better is if it flew out an open window
infinitewisdom 4
You're an idiot.
Dandyboi 7
Agreed.
triiku 0
i don't even care if the dog's okay! That's just farking hilarious. Chances are the little shit of a dog deserved it anyways. i hate poodles.
mrcarmine 0
didn't your mother teach not to play ball in the house?
fmlplz 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did it die? *crosses fingers*
wingsfan19 2
that's horrible
wingsfan19 2
that's horrible
harliedog 0
screw you man i love that poodle i hope someone kicks you straight in the nuts and you fall down some stairs if you a woman, i hope someone annihilates your ovaries