Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
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Top comments
Trivision 10
Well shit.
JustJumped 22
Surely someone had a tissue
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Comments (162)
autumndobbs 11
Hey, at least it didn't rain.
ColtonStecher 12
Well that would have taken care of the crap
SirEbro 7
Or push the crap down to her vag
Starcatch77 20
Since when is a girl's ****** right under her boobs...I think you need to go back to health class...
LithFlavored 10
Yeah I dont think I would have left that there. Can you imagine that showing up in a picture
filip00 16
I'm pretty sure it was a message from god, telling you what you're marriage is going to be like. But still, congrats!
YayItsYasmine 11
LMAO, you sir, made my day.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Have no idea why your comment is getting thumbed down but you made me lol.
RedPillSucks 33
Because he's Poopooing marriage
ColtonStecher 12
Why dont you just calm the **** down
taybear0 14
or saying the marriage will be shitty
AnonForAReason 11
The bird was jealous.
ohSNAPyall 27
Like Scuttle of Vanessa's wedding day.
K410 18
And nobody gave you a tissue or something? C'mon at least one person at your wedding must've carried one little bag of tissues or wipes >.>
ashleyhalla 21
Exactly! That would suck!
M3DIC4T3 29
If she was at the part of the ceremony where they say, "I do" I think I understand why she waited until after to clean it off... I'm pretty sure she didn't keep it there all day! :/
Queensland 27
I didn't know saying 'I do' lasts for 30 minutes. -_-
Ranimal 12
Unless the groom was laughing so hard it took him 30 minutes to finally get it out? Possibly? No? Okay...
Wizardo 34
I think the bird objects...
ohSNAPyall 27
Nah, he's just here for the birdseed.
perdix 31
Altar. You should have altered the ceremony to give you a moment to wipe the poop off your ****. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
SolarFlare 20
Don't blame the bird, aiming is difficult at high altitude and with windy conditions.
mkid232 15
Agreed, it's amazing he managed to hit his mark.
Jezzikah 11
Birds can't aim, they actually can't even control when it happens. If they have to go they just go... No control at all.
miketopgunmike1 25
don't quite understand sarcasm do we #112....
aligater10 7
Well its a memory right?:)
perdix 31
Cleveland Steamers are for the birds!