Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. Later, police turned up because mom thought she was underage. I had to desperately prove to some very angry officers that I met my girlfriend at university, and she’s almost a year older than I am. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
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Top comments
v1kt4r 13
ROFLMAO, only in America Always wanted to say that, haha but truly FYL
schwinn11 0
So your mom likes get'n it on with other chicks in public, sounds like my kinda woman. 10 bucks says your mom is more popular with your friends than you are!
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Comments (92)
liquidbunny 0
wow, just wow
cl9595 0
i agree that's disturbing
DisappearingRose 18
very disturbing....
katiebove 0
lmfao.
Perchick 6
WTF...?
iCanMakeYoBEDROC_fml 0
woww!
v1kt4r 13
ROFLMAO, only in America Always wanted to say that, haha but truly FYL
DaKillahMan 0
WIN!
LemonMan 0
Ummm yeah that blows FYL
code2264 0
insane
bnut22 0
Agreed. FYL
jakeidk 0
don't do it. that's sick I hope there were no kids around or anything...
Arohanui 1
I don't know, I think your mom sounds awesome.
Marcelb 17
you would like to be the woman she openly had sex with? ;)
ranamile 0
Yes
schwinn11 0
So your mom likes get'n it on with other chicks in public, sounds like my kinda woman. 10 bucks says your mom is more popular with your friends than you are!
YeahFMLxX 0
I'd never look at my mom the same way, ever..
jakeidk 0
don't say lesbians are hot if you have a problem with gay guys. and I have both she is disgusting old sick person
heyitsbrii 0
uhh okay theres nothing wrong with lesbians ot gay guys so you can stfu
whoisthisgirl 4
I think she was saying that guys have a problem with gay male couples but think gay female couples are hot. and I agree if you're a homophobe you shouldn't be thinking two girls are hot and two guys are disgusting.
ishiloh 5
You're a disgusting, sick person if you honestly have an issue with people who aren't straight... :$
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
I don't have anything against the people themselves. I may not agree with their choice to be gay but I do understand everyone's got their own prefrences.