Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, I was at my sister's wedding. Everything was going flawlessly. That is, until our visibly drunk mom started a punch-up over who got to cut the cake first. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
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Top comments
StackedDeck 2
Better than going to her funeral knowing that you could've made a difference. Be proud that you made the right decision.
andyyroxx 20
"Stop it mom, you're embarrassing me..." "Ermahgerd! Cer Keeeeeeeez!"
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Comments (87)
Nymphetamatrix 19
Must've been quite an entertaining show for all of them.
sunnyt 5
Someone should have recorded it. Those would make great memories during family reunions hehe.
theten_fml 9
Having your mom hang out with you and your friends?
zandalee 20
...priceless
patrickalamo 48
Oh yes #11, this could be instant YouTube gold.
dude1122332 9
37, I'm on the app and I can't click it, how dare you taunt me!
theHIGHroad2 5
BBQ and a half-time show.. I like it
datoismyname 22
It's always entertaining when someone's drunk.
tjv3 10
Good for you OP it's better to take a stand and be a little embarrassed then to have her drive
StackedDeck 2
Better than going to her funeral knowing that you could've made a difference. Be proud that you made the right decision.
onlychildFTW 34
It's better to take their keys and embarrass them then to save the confrontation and have to deal with the funeral. Good job OP for doing the right and responsible thing.
trippythehippy 6
Amen!
Prolux_fml 23
Well in the FML it never says the keys were his mothers... She could have just been a drunken asshole and been playing keep away...
braceletsandhell 7
Better safe than sorry 49?
andyyroxx 20
"Stop it mom, you're embarrassing me..." "Ermahgerd! Cer Keeeeeeeez!"
sunnyt 5
Dolan pls! Geev mi dah cer keaz nao!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I wurner driiiive! Germer teh cuuur keys!
Trai 6
Did you win?
subwaysurfers 13
Most likely, or we would have read an FML about a car wrapped around a tree that his mom took off with under the influence.
featherygoose 9
I'm sure he did, she was on crack.
andyyroxx 20
#30- What?
Michellec9982 18
Aww well just hope that ur friends understand. You made the right choice, OP (:
zuzupetalsYO 11
Who cares if the friends understand #5. people die from this you moron.
hisgirlherboy 5
Your*
subwaysurfers 13
Nice to see the kid being the responsible designated driver. Your mom could consume the alcohol she wants but when she's putting herself and others in danger, you have to step in. And you did, so good for you! :)
Zoh_Aubrey 8
I agree, OP just saved lives. ::starts the slow clap::
TehParteh 9
You did good kid, you did good.
flutter4 7
And you would think mom should be the responsible one
legitkitty 11
What, did she drink all the lighter fluid?
PeteyPablo12308 20
Hmm, I'm guessing she drank alcohol...
legitkitty 11
Well obviously! Can't anyone be sarcastic without getting thumbed down?!
onlychildFTW 34
It's hard to make sarcasm come across in text. Plus it was just bad.
jillybee101 7
I would say sorry OP, but then everyone for some reason would get mad and go on about how they hate when people say "sorry".
mrnuleef 7
Do you bask in the negative glory of a wasted comment? Can't wait to see what everyone else has to say...
xalba 9
10- agreed I dont know why people go on about saying sorry!
jillybee101 7
17- No actually. But nobody can say something truthful on here without getting botch at for what everyone else thinks. So.... I don't really care about what you think. You can waste your time ranting about my "waste of a comment".
zandalee 20
That'll do pig.
patrickalamo 48
That will do...