Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML
Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
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Top comments
Trivision 10
Well shit.
JustJumped 22
Surely someone had a tissue
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Comments (162)
pnutbutternjelly 15
that's terrible, but at least it wasn't on your beautiful very expensive white dress.
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Don't you worry about that. You'll laugh a lot of this story in the future when you remember it. And keep in mind that you married the man of your dreams, which is a great thing (by the way, congratulations for your wedding).
HeatherAS77 10
Where were your bridesmaids with a paper towel, napkin, rag, something, anything?? I'm sure people would've most definitely understood if you took a moment to wipe it off. I hope your photographer didn't get any pics of that!! It'll be a funny story to tell your children & grand kids one day!! Congratulations!!!!!
mnkristalyn 10
You should have just laughed it off, cleaned yourself up quick, and tried again. Too bad it had to happen on your special day. :(
jdawg35527 8
happened to me exept it pooped in my hair
ThedaRose 15
why did you leave it there?? why didn't you just clean it up real quick like?
cookie1207 19
Did you know that means good luck?
jsc9306 14
You couldn't have stopped for two seconds to get a tissue? I would have.
alluringtatas 7
And your brain didn't process that this was YOUR wedding and you could "pause" it? YDI.
harrisoncohix 5
Why the hell did you HAVE to?