Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
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Top comments
mclayton37 0
See... Your boyfriend has a problem. He likes to mix his pleasures. It just doesn't work. You have to put a stop to it, before one day he's playing video games, talking on the phone, taking a dump, and gettin a BJ from you all at the same time.. NO! It's like that episode of Seinfeld when George tries to enjoy some pastrami and watching TV while having sex.. you gotta stop it before it gets worse!
Envy_fml 0
Ouch.
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Comments (235)
Envy_fml 0
Ouch.
onigiriqueen 0
Personally, I think he's trying to tell her something. Double-ouch.
TheLittlestNinja 0
lol well it makes me smile to know that some women are willing to do this for their guy. But im sorry that he slammed the controller on your head... maybe he likes it rough... you should try bitting him : D
Don_fml 0
Ya think?
Diagon_Blix 0
"Today it was my birthday and I felt pretty confident, so I asked my girlfriend to give me a ******* while I played my favorite game. She agreed to do it and it was awesome up to the point where I got killed, and out of habit, I slammed my controller down... on her head... FML." "Today I was being played by my owner while this woman gave him a *******. Next thing I know BOOM HEADSHOT and I'm being slammed down upon the poor girl's head. FML."
thabeast 0
he still plays COD 4? haha now its all about COD WAW and triple ouch
dr_house_MD 0
COD 4 beats the shit out of COD WAW
TuxedoBento 1
Can people who suck at reversals please just stop...? It takes a little more wit than just retyping the FML with the roles reversed to make it actually funny. -.-
suckstobey0u 0
THANK YOU, TuxedoBento. Seriously, guys, stop.
luckyyyy 0
WAW sucks same thing like COD 4 with the exception of zombies
thatwasobvious 0
and Halo 3 is better than both by a mile.
Bllasae 0
That's one of the worst games ever made, actually.
uLtra_attitude 0
well if you were any good he would've turned off the game when you started.
Enzane12 0
thank you #219
Brett2873 0
CoD waw is the worst piece of shit that treyarch has ever made. They even took the engine from cod 4 and still screwed it up
crazyghost7 0
cod4 has better online than waw i personally think..... and that sucks for your head, at least he didnt stand up and throw it at the controller at the ground , that would have hurt more.....lmao hope ur head gets better lol
taureau139 0
a game doesnt stop being good just because a new version comes out....
Lauren324 18
Ohhh i did the same thing for my then boyfriend. haha the sad thing is im more of a video gamer than he is !! haha :P PS3 is the best COD is the best :D
Enzane12 0
YO. #116. GET A LIFE!!!!!
xDevilfishx 0
wow sucks ass
Freshman_fml 0
#160 Thats some funny stuff
matt112992 0
COD4 kills WAW
censorshipoff 0
Agreed, why else would they decide to make another MW.
Josato 0
Bah, WAW fails in comparison to COD4. Except the nazi zombies, of course.
kcmcg09 0
i play cod4 a lot but really y wuld u be focusing on that if ur getting a bj at the moment?
rach2919 0
hahahahah that sucks.
daiviko 0
Wow Wow, dont call me a dbag for wanting to be first but I have to ask. I think I was playing this same guy when I was online the other day. Was he wearing a microphone?
mini_cupcake 0
seriously, the first one was the best. c'mon, i'm a GIRL saying this!!! ((oh, and my boyfriend read this, now he's just waiting for his mom to leave...))
mini_cupcake 0
and for all those guys reading this: DON'T GRAB A GIRL'S HEAD AND SHOVE IT AROUND WHEN SHE'S GOING DOWN ON YOU!! ((unless she says she likes it =D)) cause it's a great way to get yourself bit. and she will never do it again. ((pushing her head against a brick wall hurts too =,( ))
KSI_iTz_FaNgEd 0
Maybe in your opinion but the way these people speak, Your outnumbered
Allord 0
Today, i was a couch being sat on by some douchebag getting blown while playing some retarded videogame. I couldn't really pay attention to what was going on because he had a BAD case of the farts.
lol_urlife_sucks 0
just because you guys spend too much time on this site and have probably read every fml comment there is it doesn't make it unfunny it just means you have no lives relax, and learn to take a joke
evilspongebob 0
thats like saying im gonna pull over just cuz im gonna blow in her mouth. aint happening chief.
Cambo9000 0
Was he paying attention to you or the game
sammehsaurus 0
hey, you gave him a blow to the head.. he just wanted to return the favor ;D
fsebastianslife 0
I KNOW WHAT I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY GUYS!!!! oooh kaaayyyylllaaaaa.....lol jk xD
GiddyXD 0
combat arms owns u all
devilsonic 0
well cod6 is better than cod 4 5 and halo conbined
mattrules44 0
really cause its financially one of the best games ever made on any cobsole ever and its funner than c0<k of duty
PatRme 9
counter strike rewlz
kiefenator 0
can anyone say cod black ops ftw?
blushy 14
he was clearly paying more attention to the game.
angeluv_2014 22
my exact word when i read this
Zenma 0
He was probably playing against me that's why. So, i'm sorry!
gDwane 0
dude, you guys say it like you can put a ******* kill/death ratio on a resume. it's just a game! Stfu!
TheresNoEffingwa 7
must of did a bad job.
facilitator 0
367 i put my k/d ratio on my resume, and i got hired. now my habit pays for itsself
saam32 0
Nah it was probably mre
thisissilly123 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why would you give a bj during that? as a guy that is ridiculous
mojomojo_fml 5
As a guy, that is awesome. When I grow up, I want to be him.
FBIWarning 0
Yea #3 you're ******* retarded, that shit is awesome!
ConSeannery 0
yeah dude, the **** is wrong with you? BJ while playing vid games is probably the awesomest birthday present ever
Chfanfiction 0
I don't think i'd want that either.
20seniorparty09 0
unfortunately for them it's a mix of there 2 favorite things, my boy has asked me to do the same a few times lol
mclayton37 0
See... Your boyfriend has a problem. He likes to mix his pleasures. It just doesn't work. You have to put a stop to it, before one day he's playing video games, talking on the phone, taking a dump, and gettin a BJ from you all at the same time.. NO! It's like that episode of Seinfeld when George tries to enjoy some pastrami and watching TV while having sex.. you gotta stop it before it gets worse!
mylittlecrow 0
Lolz that episode of seinfeld was awesome XD but seriously, your bf is crap, you should have bit him
earwax47 0
so that epiode is soo funny
Don_fml 0
No episode of Seinfeld was funny... ever.
iareamused 0
i agree, shoulda bit him. hard! when that controller hit your head.
sirwillis 0
i dont see how you get angry while getting a BJ?
jc1015 25
Nah...for her birthday he has to go down on her while she bashes his head with any hard object from 1 of her hobbies 😂
Leiqha 0
lmao hahahah :] made my day lol. that sounds like something that would happen to me.
MajorLeeScrewed 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why would you subject yourself to such a boyfriend? Is it because you're ugly?
Malnutrition 0
What do you mean by such a boyfriend? Like, he's bad because he wanted a blowie whilst playing video games? Or that he slammed the controller on her head? It's probably not his fault, I do that out of habit sometimes, as well. He got what was coming to him, though, when she bit down on his junk when she got hit, I'm sure.
tencalories 3
owwww that's gotta hurt
cosmolatte 3
Uhh.... that's kinda disgusting.
ddldave 0
Agreed, the mouth should be used for kissing and and not for bj's.
no_day_but_2day 0
I agree! PENISES BELONG IN VAGINAS, NOT MOUTHS!
mrtristan14 0
probably because you have never gotten one
KittenOnAcid 1
omg you guy stop being *****, im sure you would be freaking estatic if a guy went down on you, if you never had it done before that sucks for you. plus games+oral = best gf everrrr
gcristina17 0
ew and ugh, jeez what an ass, you don't need a bf like that...
Iwannabetreo 11
That must have hurt him too.
Manny_B92 0
Yeah prolly didn't hurt half as much as when you bit down on his knob from the shock...
ball00nboy 0
Lmfao...totally agree.