Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
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Top comments
mclayton37 0
See... Your boyfriend has a problem. He likes to mix his pleasures. It just doesn't work. You have to put a stop to it, before one day he's playing video games, talking on the phone, taking a dump, and gettin a BJ from you all at the same time.. NO! It's like that episode of Seinfeld when George tries to enjoy some pastrami and watching TV while having sex.. you gotta stop it before it gets worse!
Envy_fml 0
Ouch.
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Comments (235)
disgruntled_stdt 0
It probably didn't work until he used 'sudo'
Nick86 0
Well, YDI. Thats a real winner of a boyfriend you have there.
superbluff5 0
Wow thats epic
Jackthestripper 0
You're a great girlfriend.
SoJustFriends 0
Personally, serves you right. It's disgusting that you would even do that. And you must not of been very good if he forgot you were even there, and slammed the controller onto you.
TheLetterZero 7
I think you mean "Learn some grammar". Sheesh.
IsaacClarke 0
Ever heard of sarcasm, my good man?
Aciliveth 5
Props to you as a girlfriend.
audax 0
slamming the controller down is not typical of normal gamers. It is typical of people who have anger issues. Your boyfriend has a problem that he needs to deal with before he hurts himself or someone he cares about. Oh wait. . .
19avengers 0
ROFL good idea - is he on PS3 or Xbox?
iTzAcrazyLifE 0
Yeah hes kinda like me before i quit playing and got to playing again a year after i got calmer but my bad rep followed me
frankthetank69 0
whats his gamer tag? for sure i add him and praise him thru my microphone
xxdani 0
Okay, off topic but Fmylife is screwed up these numbers are confusing me! i liked it better when it was in order and I could follow it GAHH. just felt like ranting, FYL to the actual post by the way...
xo_emily_xo 0
haha your bf is a HUGE dork. Also, this sounds pretty unrealistic: blow jobs whilst playing video games?? COME AWN!