Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
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Top comments
mclayton37 0
See... Your boyfriend has a problem. He likes to mix his pleasures. It just doesn't work. You have to put a stop to it, before one day he's playing video games, talking on the phone, taking a dump, and gettin a BJ from you all at the same time.. NO! It's like that episode of Seinfeld when George tries to enjoy some pastrami and watching TV while having sex.. you gotta stop it before it gets worse!
Envy_fml 0
Ouch.
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Comments (235)
Scrumpy 0
That's why you don't date a console player, there's nothing good about em.
Doopliss 0
That's completely untrue.
Manny_B92 0
What the hell man? I'm a console player and I would never ask my girlfriend for a ******* while playing a video game, I mean talk about concentration problems, who can focus on a game while getting a BJ?
Artifact25 0
Yeah that's untrue. Just don't do anything while they are playing video games. Get them away from the Console or that will happen. And Crap I lost the game
N00d13s 0
Agreed. Console games are easier anyways, it is slower, most people camp, and on consoles it helps you aim whether you realize it or not. Not to mention how even a 10 year can master a console game. PC gamers would never slam their mouse/keyboard, and even so they have a desk so it wouldn't hit the girl in the head.
Yukiko993 0
DAMN IT Now i lost the game.
onigiriqueen 0
#29: Well, he DID die....
BigLord 0
The Wii is a console too. No CoD4 there, but there's WaW
CyclonePsycho 1
#30, I hate you. And I lost the game too. GRRRRR!
Artifact25 0
Hey don't blame me this thread emphasizes the word "Game" a lot. It's hard to not lose when the word "Game" is all around.
tinyrainclouds 0
She must not have been a good blow if he could concentrate.
daiviko 0
the game is retarded, everyone loses it instantly
UseTheFrags 0
Oh my god... Your boyfriend, is, officially, the greatest person ever. Well, it coulda been better if he was playing Killzone 2 but that's a different matter. Tell him I said hi!
Asporo 0
It's a good thing your head was there, he could've slammed it into the jewels.
megan_e1031 0
Ahaha, that made my day. XD
Doopliss 0
Your lucky he wasn't playing Perfect Dark or that game with the ghosts and the camera. It's terrifying, he'd probably kill you in shock.
Peroxide 3
wow, bj while playing cod4, marry me? when he came did he yell BOOM HEADSHOT!!!
OMGQueenB 0
Ahahahaha headshot ! Funniest thing ever. OP: FYL because you're a mint girlfriend. I'd never do that to a guy because, well, he should pay attention to me, not to COD.
BURST 0
That made me literally ROFL.
smashyy 0
Hahahah! That's effing hilarious. And OP: Why? That's just not smart things.
mementomori_fml 0
What a jerk.... you're supposed to play Call of Duty 4 on the PC. :P
MattC13 0
No you're supposed to play COD4 on the NES. :P?
mylifesucksoften 0
why would you even do that when he is playing a game :s He should pay attention to you, not to a game!!!
DaemonDoC 0
lulz
milner 0
Lol xD let him play vs me and he'll smash your head a couple more times :D
dacho 7
You really deserved it if you think slamming controller is "typical gamer fashion". Moron. It's more like typical idiot fashion.