Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
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Top comments
mclayton37 0
See... Your boyfriend has a problem. He likes to mix his pleasures. It just doesn't work. You have to put a stop to it, before one day he's playing video games, talking on the phone, taking a dump, and gettin a BJ from you all at the same time.. NO! It's like that episode of Seinfeld when George tries to enjoy some pastrami and watching TV while having sex.. you gotta stop it before it gets worse!
Envy_fml 0
Ouch.
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Comments (235)
Mykeh 0
Onto #9 I hope you were gentle when biting into this sausage.
ay3 0
agree with #10... lol
babybarb 0
This is funny! You sound like a good girlfriend so your life is ******
Yukiko993 0
Should have bitten down as punishment.
MrWTF_fml 2
WTF man,he wants a bj and not sex.....
iknowyou 0
BJs r better =)
voveraite 7
ok, here goes rant: one-sided pleasure is not ok! not on birthdays, not on any occasion. I'd *never* ask for favours I would not return the same day, and s*x as some currency/blackmail etc. is again wrong. Don't get me started on doing stuff during video games. Where is class in this world left, where?!
haxromana 2
@102 - So is turning all of your relationships into a theoretical inventory sheet of favors done and received going well for you? It's one thing if the balance of who's giving and who's receiving is constantly off, but really? You keep track that closely? Damn. If the relationship is good it evens out without that much thought and attention, and if you're that focused on who's getting what out of everything, maybe you should reconsider your motives.
satanicminnow1 1
BJs beat sex any ******* day of the ******* week. ****.
bexox 0
How about both of you just do oral sex sometimes so it basically evens out? Also, sex is not a bad word, you don't have to censor it.
IsaacClarke 0
He must suck at COD.
Eros_fml 0
i think you mean, she sucks during COD
ChelseaXcore 0
o i see what you did thar! XD
_slyfox 0
You either are bad at giving head, or your boyfriends got issues. Who the hell would be worried about a game, during that?!
SweetestSin 4
I don't know whats more sad, the fact that he was more into the game rather than the b.j. or the fact you actually agreed to give him a b.j while he was playing a game!
lmao_rofl9 0
hahahahahha agrreeed
ncochrum 0
That *sucks*
STN_fml 0
your life is messed up seriously, why would even do that at the first place ? YDI
fmyli 0
because its his birthday