Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I went to choir rehearsal at 7:30 in the morning. When the guy I have a major crush on stood next to me, I got really excited, so I tried to sound good. After the song ended, he asked me if I wanted some gum to cover up my morning breath. FML
Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML
Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML
Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML
Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a really hunky guy. We exchanged polite greetings, then, for some reason, I tried to break the silence by saying, "Nice weather today, huh?" He nodded, but then I awkwardly continued, “Too bad we’re stuck in here.” He gave me a confused look as the doors opened right on cue. FML
Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML
Today, I found out that the source of the "mystery whistling" I’ve been hearing in my house for days was my own nose. Apparently, I’ve got a built-in wind instrument. FML
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Top comments
DarkAngelsBlade 25
I would have personally found that endearingly hilarious and suddenly you’ve been upgraded haha
RichardPencil 32
That blows! You're thinking of this all wrong. You didn't make stupid faces -- you advertised to this guy that you do wild things with your mouth. Expect a call!
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Comments (5)
bloopaloop 27
Hi! I was JUST thinking about you!
RichardPencil 32
That blows! You're thinking of this all wrong. You didn't make stupid faces -- you advertised to this guy that you do wild things with your mouth. Expect a call!
Kurliez408 32
explain what you were doing and ask him to teach you
DarkAngelsBlade 25
I would have personally found that endearingly hilarious and suddenly you’ve been upgraded haha
DarkAngelsBlade 25
I would have personally found that endearingly hilarious and suddenly you’ve been upgraded haha