Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
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Top comments
snapdragons 0
**** his life actually
Pixie333 6
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Comments (194)
Pixie333 6
...
Becca_Blaise 0
is it big?
responses 0
at least you try to keep your love life alive
kreeger51 0
oh it was huge ;)
farsidee 0
Knob?
xoconnie 8
you would use the word knob. YDI ugly.
Becca_Blaise 0
lol who would use knob I use the word ****
sc95060sc 0
fhl
sc95060sc 0
hahahah becca has a fake pic!!! it's on google
zebra_pillow 0
ouch lol
lilubird 0
that's sad :-( now, why a fake pic hm?
paigeatsflesh 11
ew why would you use the word knob? that's gross >.<
Shadow14l 0
YDI for marrying a man with a knob shaped dick.
angelkissezxox 3
"slob on my knob" aha
bobmandude 0
.....................................................
DGross 8
If he had a big ole pole you would have been fine...could have even danced on it... probably took that too far... oh well
schnitzel5 0
*****
schnitzel5 0
should have just gon along with it and shoved that knobby penis in your mouth
schnitzel5 0
I just noticed that every comment I add magicly dissapears..... hmmmm...........
miniman332211 0
@45.. the fact that u know that pics on google concerns me slightly..
tyheron 0
FHL! Immagine if he did the same to your clit, you wouldnt feel sorry for him then would you. Ah well, at least you were woman enough to keep it in the kitchen where you belong.
alleyx3 0
who says knob? lmao YDI for saying knob.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
@ 95, bahah I was going to say the same thing!!
JeaanPauul 0
rofl this is so fake. a woman wudnt say knob and she wudnt post something like that on fml.
myman47 0
36 and 107. I have a "knob"
bayli250604 0
;)
sugarbabyxoxo 2
@ myman47, I would sure hope so.
zimmerboy 0
haha your right
LULZ_O__o 0
what do you type in to find it
iankennedy17 0
uber win^
fmlsoobad 0
then you realized it was 3 inches bigger
albert17 0
@56 so true
Fatalally 4
Ummm...I would hope NO ONE has a knob shaped penis...that's...just...creepy...O.o
jake92hsv 10
not really your fml, more like his... ouch!!
Sickkid97 5
wow...at first I had a good picture but it all went down from there...literally lolz!
Yee12 0
You made a mistake by leaving the kitchen in the first place. so YDI
Shorty2592 0
Shorty2592 agrees with 94.
chunks23 0
hi number 10
kjhowse 0
number 10 is cute
captainmarshall1 0
who the **** calls it a knob?!!! there are countless better ways to refer to a male's penis. even just saying penis is better than knob. makes it sound like its not a rod, but some sort of spherical mass of flesh. you totally deserve this one. dont you EVER refer to a dick as a knob ever again! i'll hunt you down...
oogyboogy 6
captainmarshal you just made my laugh so hatd
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
yeah this more **** his life
puppiesarecute 0
true dat!!!
TRJADN 0
this ^ WTF is a knob??! If you are referring to his penis who calls it that and more importantly why!??
kylehogg 0
number 10ur hot and did op rip it off
newmanlyman3 8
this can go both ways
trackrunner00008 0
becca Blaise you are very sexy
ipts 0
whats wrong with the word knob? stop being little nerds about it, she can call it what she wants
hellzrydaz 0
LOL!!!!!!
HelloiamBatman 0
knob is the british word for dick.,
areimer 0
ha sucks for you baby dick maybe you should taje a pill
CountChaos 0
can you break a d'ck? I know they can be fractured but can they like snap in half? if so then plastic surgery is always an option! think I went a little too far on that one...
Pommy_fml 0
mine is. wanna see?
hard2keep 0
how do u know its not her picture on gooogle?
isababe 0
I would love to have sex with you #36
Boygenius50 8
Fhl his wife uses the word knob
desser627 0
fail, but thanks anyway Becca.
flufee2 27
why would yah look tht up perv ;)
pcentral 17
I wanna know if #69 has a 'big ol pole'... ;)
brakessuck 0
wow
jarhead321 0
OUUUCH WTF!?!
DeeBizz 0
you suck
Taylorfacepwns 0
you swallow(;
littlemissxtc 0
FHL ... I think your husband got the raw end of this one!!!
snapdragons 0
**** his life actually
Joey7361 0
no shit, I think he should be the one writing an FML
Starfire22 5
yea reallym, I feel bad for the poor guy...
ollierobs 0
well OP was trying to **** his life...
MightyMike2509 0
ouchhhhhh
MetroidSlayer01 8
"I hope may the force be with you"?? Fail. lol
MetroidSlayer01 8
way to change comment. make me look stupid :(
bubdud 0
gunfire!
MagnoliaFrog 0
ydi for using the word "knob"
Stoic1 0
three 6 mafia uses the word knob for starters. it's actually pretty common slang.
Billbo23 0
three 6 FTW
suzannasaurusrex 0
slob on my knob like corn on the cob...
mattbeverly 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
owww u bitch
morgantia2011 4
you are really pretty!
eat_this_buddie 5
haha thanks love ;) xoxo
icanspellgud 0
who the hell calls it a knob? ydi.
me5 0
We need pix
MrMaD_fml 2
...slob on his knob like corn on the cob.
Snow_Daisy 7
check in with me, and do your job.. lay on the bed, and gimme head.. Don't have to ask, to have to beg.