Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
That's sweet but next time why not a sensuous bath together or something equally as relaxing?
Saddyohh 13
Don't wear panties... Problem solved.
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Comments (101)
flashback.miss 28
That's sweet but next time why not a sensuous bath together or something equally as relaxing?
daniel_0084 14
Or just sex?
kjones99 11
I freak out everytime I see your profile pic... >.
RedPillSucks 33
Not sure why you're getting thumbs down. Sounds like good advice
TheCanucklehead 22
Next time, she should tease him that your going to strip. After she leaves the room, she should put on clothes rather than take them off. That'll annoy her husband
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Or just make sure you practice a few times in front of a mirror before trying it again. You should have probably done that before but now you know you need too since you're a little clumsy. I'm clumsy too and I probably would've practiced a bit too before I tried something new like that. Good luck next time OP and let us know how it went! Hopefully you don't put yourself into the hospital. Lol
buddy51 23
If it's going to equal the relaxation OP felt in this experience, she'll have to slip under water sensually, begin to give him underwater head, aspirate, nearly drown and have to get nude CPR by hubby.... In other words, OP is a somewhat clumsy oaf and might want to stick with missionary until she can do that without slipping a disk...
longsock123 7
it's OK, you tried.
PterodactylMan 23
I'm sure your husband understands
CallMeMcFeelii 14
This will definitely be something they'll laugh about the next day. Maybe next time let your husband take your panties off? I personally love undressing my partners. Perfect way to heat things up, especially if you use your mouth to do it.
Turrence 9
She definitely stripped and definitely teased..
applebramble 22
OP , there's always Christmas and/or Valentines day ;)
saraitkddh 47
it's all about the intentions
whyisitme12 19
Its okay, it's the fact the you tried to spice things up that counts. There always anthor big day to try it over.
ydi_4_suking 20
You don't have to wait for another big day OP. Just try again when you feel better
Caitie_kid 8
Been there, done that. He actually teases me about it every valentines day now lol.
strokesie 23
It's the effort that matters. You tried, op!
Saddyohh 13
Don't wear panties... Problem solved.
RoboCunnilingus 23
This man has life figured out. Listen to him.
kurodansei 16
Wouldn't be much of a striptease if she starts with too little.
raddybear 11
I mean you tried and you problay got him pretty excited
theannak 7
Up to the point where she fell...I'm guessing he just laughed a lot after that.
jw90 18
Bad luck OP. that's the price of being "sexy"
logankyng 15
Just move them to the side next time
NagainaFier 16
I think you missed the point of a 'strip tease'.
RivetingTaleChap 6
I believe this is what we call a trip-tease.
dstamm2 10
Why can't I think of clever things like this!?!
kurodansei 16
Because you're a Jets fan. * waits to see how New Yorkers populate FML.
davincidasecond 24
Those are fightin' words, 26.
dstamm2 10
Im not a new Yorker and I have never even visited 26 shut up and thanks 38
Genociiide 15
a little sensitive are we?
LuckBeNimble 19
44: well, what did you expect from a Jets fan?
narkill 13
A birthday he's sure to never forget. Cause you'll keep reminding him of what you went through for him of course.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Yea probably not. Why would OP keep reminding him that while trying to be a sexy vixen, she tripped and fell almost dislocating her shoulder and embarrassing herself in the process? I think not. I'm sure she'll never bring it up again. He on the other hand may bring it up time to time for a good laugh but if he ever wants her to try it again, he should probably keep his mouth shut.