Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML
Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML
Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tripartita 45
You were aiming for porno but life threw you a romantic comedy.
tumtum888 12
**** stunts are for pros only lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
RebeccaRFT 18
How do you bust your nose open?
SpyroMello 29
Gee, idk. Maybe by slamming your face on the ground with a lot of force.
gamermonster 34
Run nose first against a wall, and you know it
tumtum888 12
**** stunts are for pros only lol
tigerthepredator 16
Unless you got a stunt double if you know what I mean.
FemskyD 26
not so soft **** xD
oobergoober89 16
Not everything you see in the movies is doable
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Maybe, but if she wants to try it, I'm sure her hubby appreciates it.
Welshite 40
Did you have the candles, the music, the camera crew, and the sheets artfully arranged to hide everything to maintain a PG-13 rating? Because if you didn't, then it would explain why your night didn't turn out like the movies. P.S.: I have a camera and someone willing to do lighting. PM me.
Tripartita 45
You were aiming for porno but life threw you a romantic comedy.
Welshite 40
Yeah, except romantic comedies usually have with a "happy ending". ?
Tripartita 45
This is only the end of first or second act. If it's the first act, OP will gain amazing sex-powers that she'll ultimately give up when she realizes she was loved just as she was. If it's the second act, her and her husband will sue the company that made the bed and have to give a physical demonstration of how she was injured in front of a jury.
Welshite 40
I'd watch that.
abbyade 21
Lol lesson of the day: never copy a movie. I hope your nose is okay.
Ramos808 29
Sounds like it was some rough sex
Dale_shackleford 13
Remember, they only choreograph the movie sex scenes that way to make it look good to the audience. For the actors, the sex scenes are probably some of the most physically awkward and uncomfortable scenes they do.
ApparentlyNotEno 28
They're only awkward if the people aren't actually having sex. I actually practiced some of those moves with an adventurous partner until we got them down. OPs mistake was trying to surprise her husband instead of having his help... but I must say good on her for trying new things! I'm certain next time it will go much more smoothly. :-)
gracehi 33
You shot the mood in the head, then kicked it.