Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
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Top comments
snapdragons 0
**** his life actually
Pixie333 6
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Comments (194)
trackrunner00008 0
@ myman47 I don't have a knob. It's too big to be any kind of knob.
epeets 1
that would KILL the mood but it would've made a great home video for your personal collection. lol
niesenator 0
Apparently no one on this site reads. I've heard the term "knob" countless times in books and movies. But most of the time the character who said it is British.
s_landholm 0
to DGross: your hot.
krisgonewild 0
haha WTF is your husband a door lol hopefully you guys still did it no one wants to be **** blocked by his floor he would probably tear it up haha. oh yea and that guy with a pic of two girls holding their **** we know ur fake go do something with ur life
Howdyplz 2
Owww, F His Life. I think you lost me when you said you led him into the kitchen by his knob. I find that more WTF-inducing ridiculous than sexy. I guess if he likes that, go for it. But tripping and pulling on it? I'm a girl and I cringed reading that. Ow.
Haileyw15 0
Maybe that should tell you, a penis isn't a leash.
Claay_aiir 0
saying knob makes it sound even more nasty :/
gonorse 0
poor guy...you should have a 3 some to make up for it
Fireflies94 0
lol. That would be funny to see.