Today, I found out that after caring for all of my family and I’m about to get on with my own life, someone has dementia and I'm right back in the same spot I’ve been forever, stuck again with caring for someone else. This has been going on for 20 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got word that my aunt has dementia and will be moving into our big family estate. And just like with my grandpa, grandma, great-aunt, great-uncle, other grandma, father, and uncle, I will be expected to put my life on hold and be her primary caretaker. I never got my own life. FML
Today, after my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer, I'd packed my belongings and quit my job to go help my mom take care of him. Now she's had a stroke, so I spend my days/nights taking care of both of them. The thing is, I have 3 siblings that live within 5 miles that can't lift a finger to help. I love my parents. FML
Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML
Today, I've always struggled with communication and such with my family, so I was difficult to take care of, yet I always held myself together, did my chores, and took care of myself. Sometimes I even helped them out, but now they’re kicking me out of the house, and I have nowhere to go, and I don’t know what to do. FML
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know… every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just like my mother, except she got hers in her 70’s after she lived a life. Mine is early onset so I’m losing my mind in my 30’s and I’ve done nothing with my life except work to afford rent and my next meal. I don’t even have a wife or kids damn it. FML
Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML
Today, my mom has gotten to the stage of her Alzheimer’s where every time I visit she thinks I’m a burglar, and screams and cries until I leave. My dad does his best, but I just want my mom back. FML
Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML
Today, I started the job of my dreams, which I’ve spent 20 years trying to get, only to get a call that my mom, who supported me when no one else would or could, went into a coma. I didn’t even get to tell her I started the job. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Time to learn how to say no before this goes on for another 20 years and you basically become a prisoner. Put yourself first for once, and tell whoever is left in your family to pull their weight for a change.
historygrad74 19
You need to take care of yourself
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Comments (6)
historygrad74 19
You need to take care of yourself
RichardPencil 32
You said "someone." Did you forget who it is that has dementia? Is it you?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Time to learn how to say no before this goes on for another 20 years and you basically become a prisoner. Put yourself first for once, and tell whoever is left in your family to pull their weight for a change.
Hangryko 32
You don't have to do it. Tell the family it's time for someone else's turn. You've done more than enough.
KookieLove666 15
Move on with your life! I know what its like to deal with that. I've turned down once in a lifetime opportunities to try to take care of sick family and now I'm just watching my life and happiness fade away over people who don't even appreciate it. If I could do it all over again, I'll tell them good luck and then go live a much better life.
Nailah Butler 4
I thought it was just me. Its so sad and draining. Everyone says you are the hero but you wish you werent