Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
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Top comments
snapdragons 0
**** his life actually
Pixie333 6
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Comments (194)
Lewnna 0
Who the **** calls it a 'knob'? ._____.
gurlucrazy 0
@21 why the **** would her husband divorce her?
ThuhBoss 0
The word weiner is better than knob.
brit8741 0
hahaha snickerdoodles that happens to me too! Its horrible 35 that made me laugh(: OP hope ur hubbys ok and good luck next time! :]
cyberotter 0
same here but with me it's a unicycle
swoopyisbad 0
For the record it actually said **** instead of knob before it was moderated.
boogieman145 3
I thought she was talking about one of his arms that had been amputaded.
coltsluvr123 2
HAHAHAHA!!!!! good one
J0yce 0
*Facepalm...*
LaLaJuice 0
stfu snickerdoodles .... but anyway..uhm shouldn't he be the one writing this fml..not you..and knob?!? likeeee really? ..either way ..that's not sexy at all leading him by his penis ..that's just weird
DontHateOnSnicke 0
more like FHL. im sure u nearlly pulled his penis right out of its socket.
BlaqMetal13 0
@79 lmfao!!!!
perdix 31
Way to screw with the poor bastard's head! He thinks maybe you were finally going to make him a decent home-cooked meal, but all he was going to get was tedious, sterile sex with you. And then you give him a near-gender-changing handjob. It's not your L that's F'ed.
KaylynKicks 0
I don't think stretching it wouldve done her very good cause it sounds midget sized to begin off with!!!!!!