Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, I was standing by the bed, naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opened the door and walked over to me, swinging her hips, wearing practically nothing. At about four feet from me, she tripped on the edge of the floor mat, and used my junk to catch herself. FML
Today, I thought I would spice things up a bit and rocked my man's world, but in the kitchen. Apparently, some of his cum must have got on the tiles because I slipped on it 15 minutes later. In doing so I smacked my head on the fridge.. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
snapdragons 0
**** his life actually
Pixie333 6
...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (194)
Miko159 0
I hope you didn't twist that knob.
KurouTenshi 0
this sounds like a blooper from some sexy 1980's Porno movie. either way: "Today, my wife decided we needed to have sex in the kitchen, on the way there, her clumsy ass tripped over nothing and damn near ripped my dick off in the process. FML" just saying.
Miko159 0
OK that made me laugh. XD
Roseicat 16
Handy Ay?
gurlucrazy 0
@38 aww... FYL
bigpapi210 0
that was stupid.
wickidsmaht 0
I hope the dude got one hell of a bj after that. poor guy.
hockeystud19 1
not really a fml so ydi
KurouTenshi 0
that's only if it fills in the stretch LOL
BooHaUrScared 0
knob?
JustMyLuck_huh 0
O__O nice... why would y… nevermind
gurlucrazy 0
YDI for marrying a door
mrmystery96 0
that sounds like lark on my go kart...