Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in an effort to spice up our love life, I greeted my husband at the front door in lingerie and stilettos. He took one look at me and asked if I wanted him to shovel the driveway before it snowed again. FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML
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Top comments
katieatieay 0
if someone said that to me, it would really just make me want to **** him even more. i'm not lying or being sarcastic. but... relax for heavens sake, it's not like he said he'll never have sex with you again. he's not in the mood. just make him some ******* hot chocolate.
johnburke 0
Haha wow, that was priceless. I'd never do that to a woman
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Comments (67)
VivaLaJewFace 0
Rofl.... suckage.
mrfuzzywiggles 11
Did you at least make him some damn hot chocolate?
johnburke 0
Haha wow, that was priceless. I'd never do that to a woman
xixifwadi 0
Am I the only one who thought the guy was in the stilettos?...
imnutsss 0
Haha no dude, I read it too fast and thought the same thing..
X_fml 0
OMG! similar thing happend to me :/ how came that ALL man are so insensitive? i totally know your feeling... you need to talk (complain) to him ...unless you 2 had fun later with the chocolat lol
iampunk 0
You're a ******* idiot. Refer to 2's comment because you're not worth the explanation.
arin2009 0
Lol he wanted kinky hot chocolate !!!
googlefrewdnoob 0
So, if you don't want sex because you're tired, it's fine but if we're tired, were wrong and insensitive, I don't use this term often but you are a "stupid bitch"
gamegoes4life 0
you need to check where your balls are if as a man you got a woman in your kitchen naked asking for sex...time to man up and appreciate what you got
Brittaneyyy 0
I agree with u I get not wanting sex all the time but at least age was making an effort to initiate it so it could of been sweet or romantic unless he was just turned off that she was taking control I know some guys are like that
CoGhostRider 31
Now as a man I do love sex but, if I came home to this I would not want it to be over quickly so I would ask for something too. After all what good is a fantasy if you end it before you've experienced it.
katieatieay 0
if someone said that to me, it would really just make me want to **** him even more. i'm not lying or being sarcastic. but... relax for heavens sake, it's not like he said he'll never have sex with you again. he's not in the mood. just make him some ******* hot chocolate.
whatwhat 0
at least he didn't ask you to make him a sandwich
beenonthatside 0
seriously i wouldnt look too deeply into it. could have been stress. There's times when I come home from work and my boyfriend wants it and i'm too tired...or too worried etc...and just feel like i got too much on my proverbial plate to feel sexy. next time bring him some cocoa and suggest maybe a hot bath or a backrub....couldnt hurt right?
TBR 0
Frankly i can understand why he would be exhausted, but i find it unlikely i would pass that up. My advice is keep it up he will either respond or he wont but that is him not you.
noeyolivia 0
ummm
fsaskid 0
Yeah TBR you'd show her who was boss, you filthy love machine!
csigabajnok 0
maybe he just doesn't like stilettos...
arms_akimbo 0
man, if my gf did that I'd be out of my clothes so fast you'd swear I was deathly allergic to them.