Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “I need to check something down there.” I asked what but he just smiled and showed me the piece of gum he was chewing. He took a look and left to get the scissors. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
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Top comments
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Hey, does everyone forget pubic hair is perfectly natural? If you think it's "gross", you're probably not old enough to touch a ******. Everyone has personal preferences but it's amazing how many people seem to think that it's some unspoken rule for chicks to shave EVERYWHERE.
humorizer 14
My dog would beg to differ.
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Comments (199)
slipperykricket 0
Now you know why the term carpet-muncher went out of style...it was right around the time razors were invented :)
Burnehh 2
If you want him to go down on you, shave that shit! Otherwise, you don't get none. It's that simple. To be honest, I wouldn't go down on you either, who the **** wants pubic hair stuck in the back of their throat? It can't be pleasant. It's totally up to you. I do agree, sticking gum there was a douche bag move, and he didn't have to do that, but do put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to lap at that nasty shit? Uhmmm, the ccorrect answer would be no.
iPsycho 4
Shaving pubic hair is actually pretty difficult, if you mess up (which is easy) it looks like you have herpes or some shit
Grettir 1
You people hating on OP for not shaving are complete fuckwits. What's next? Five pounds of makeup if your bf doesn't like your complexion? Mandatory implants if your **** are small? Seriously, I understand different people have different preferences and some people think little girl crotch with razor bumps is oh so hot, but anyone that disgusted by body hair on their partner is an evolutionary failure. As Sasha Grey once said, "If you're curious...that's what a grown woman looks like." And more to the point, that was a really crass and disrespectful thing for bf to do.
littlebiggs23 11
Your argument is completely invalid. You're saying you prefer a bush? Some people don't. I know if I'm hooking up with a girl she had better shave her sh*t before I go anywhere near her crotch with my tongue. Sorry I don't want a mouthful of pubes, which, to be blunt, probably are full of piss and fecal matter to a certain extent.
Grettir 1
Also, If she's got to put up with sticking a prod down her throat, he can manage a bit of bush. What an asshole.
manasstalker 7
That nasty XD I'd say it calls for revenge!!!!! see how he likes it!
liljdb 2
Speechless...
fmelots 9
Give him a nice wax, that should learn him :)
BaconBoy75 2
What a dick.
boohbah1789 0
Shave already. Bushes are so 70's style.