Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “I need to check something down there.” I asked what but he just smiled and showed me the piece of gum he was chewing. He took a look and left to get the scissors. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Hey, does everyone forget pubic hair is perfectly natural? If you think it's "gross", you're probably not old enough to touch a ******. Everyone has personal preferences but it's amazing how many people seem to think that it's some unspoken rule for chicks to shave EVERYWHERE.
humorizer 14
My dog would beg to differ.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (199)
Pendragon525 0
What a douchebag. I say do a Takashi (Revenge of the Nerds reference): put undiluted liquid heat in all his underwear. (JKOC)
SamanthaSaurus 13
This: "Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!" is really suiting for this FML.
FrankiT 0
Time to go buy a weed whacker.
LovesickLeopard 0
Then shave! I did when my boyfriend asked me to. Now, he can't keep his hands off me. It was the best investment I ever made! Just make sure to only shave every few days or you'll get so many razor bumps, it'll look like you have herpes.
ilikeemsmall 4
Shave that bush! Nobody wants a face full of nasty poon hair.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Um, it's not mandatory to shave. There's this new thing called a choice. OP made one.
tigermilz 1
I know what to get you for Christmas ?! Can you guess what it is
KottonKandi 0
Dump his ass.
flyboy16 2
You deserve it! Who doesn't shave??
oklahomaguy 0
So sick of people saying pubic hair is there for a reason. You had better have hairy legs and pits too, otherwise you are a hypocrit.
iSpasticFantasti 14
Hey! You wanna know why girls don't have leg hair and armpit hair and are "hypocrites" for not wanting to go that extra step of uncalled for ******* grooming? Because some.girls who held back until highschool because they didn't think shaving the thin golden hairs on their legs wasn't the most important thing in the world were bullied mercilessly everyday by pricks like you, they were bullied to the point where they resisted until the very last snarky ******* remark and then they caved and shaved and knew they'd have to keep it up for ungrateful bastards like you! Then the whole ******* world went insane as the age of shavers got smaller and smaller with girls starting shaving in grade 2 and 3. Then, girls started shaving their arms and their feet, they started plucking their brows and wearing makeup not for themselves but for ***** like you that bully them! Then they grew pubic hair and when they looked at it, they thought, "I am ugly and this is ugly". BUT THEN... BING ******* epiphany: I grew this hair because I am a woman, my ****** is beautiful and all vaginas are different, I will always fight pricks who think they have some right to my rituals and my body and no one but the one I accept will see my ******, so get the **** out of our pants you stupid piece of shit.
chosha_fml 27
Can't believe how many people chose YDI. Nobody deserves a wad of gum in their pubes. I'd dump him for that - demeaning and totally out of line.