Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm expecting our second child. He ripped up the sonogram and yelled at me to "fucking get rid of it" while jabbing me in the chest. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Smart kid
rocker_chick105 31
Should've followed the kid's advice
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Comments (127)
zingline89 18
Your son is smarter than someone I know. She thought if she had anal sex that the baby would likewise come out her ass.
rainbowkissies 14
i was on wikipedia (the most untrusted site that everyone uses) and it said you, in fact, CAN get pregnant by anal. i called shenaniganz.
Good_Old_Jesus 1
And that's where black people come from.
the_true_batman 10
And I thought my family was messed up.
holyshitbatman 20
oh Batman, nice to finally meet you :p
the_true_batman 10
Marry me?
dead247 13
I'm interested in seeing where this goes.
seyrose 8
that escalated quickly...
holyshitbatman 20
why Batman, im flattered
the_true_batman 10
If you're serious, message me with your phone number.
traveler_ghost 12
Effed up family dinner...where did he learn to say that?
dragonfuego 11
Kids learn manners and respect from their parents. Sounds like all the parents here are messed up as well. YDI
TaffyMichele 9
Unless they learned it from their friends at school, which isn't impossible.
ncsteven10101010 11
Or, the girl's brother may be a teenager and just knows this phrase. His age is never specified.
SaturnV 25
Perhaps you'll have better luck raising this baby to have better manners than the first two.
the_enigma1019 1
Jesus, I thought my family was dysfunctional.
jaredofmo 22
Something to remember as a rule of thumb, One up the bum and you won't be a mum!
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
Unless the cum drips out.
ICastillo 25
I'm guessing you are one baby making machine.... Maybe you should pick up a hobby.
bakerella 29
I agree, one of your own should be enough. More people need to look into adopting or fostering
twinny_sc 13
The adoption process can be long and frustrating. My younger brother was adopted, and I remember everything my parents had to go through. Not everyone wants to deal with that.
j_cat187 20
Can I count sex as a hobby?
AussieChild 22
Since when does having 3 kids make someone a baby making machine??? Plus why shouldn't someone have their own kids if they want too?? It's a personal decision, besides, adoption agencies are extremely picky with who they let adopt.
bakerella 29
At the very least foster. And DERP. people deserve to have their own, but there's no need to bring more than one of your own into the world when there are tons of kids that could use a new home
fantasyworld 39
Since when was three kids a lot?
mowmowlife 21
Omg lol your family. Either you're a bad parent or you've got some screwy relationships. Both need working on.
holyshitbatman 20
just because you're raised a certain way doesn't mean toured going to listen and act that way. I'm pretty sure the parents of those in jail didn't teach them how to kill, steal, do drugs ect
Kasse 4
Some of them probably did, actually. Cycles of families relying on welfare or engaging in lawbreaking and jail-resulting behaviours have been solidly proven, just like children from well off families tend to become successful too and are less likely to require assistance than their lower-socioeconomic counterparts. Like father like son does tend to hold true. That being said, can't know for sure whether OP raises terrible children with bad parenting or just bad luck.
Accuraxy 10
Sorry OP:( That is really uncaring and rude of them. You should do what you want regardless of what they say. Oh and congratulations!:)
pengin 13
Well, they are /her/ children. Have to say, if they're acting that way--- it is the result of the parent's way they raised them/ or lack of it. All though a child shouldn't have complete say over if the parents have more children-- I would think the parents would atleast let the kids KNOW about the pregnancy before announcing it to a bunch of other people.
pengin 13
..Although, of course-- her father acting like that is something you can't have control over. While he could have voiced his apparent concerns in a better way instead of being rude like that-- maybe OP should think about why her father would voice those concerns in the first place (and possibly not just because he's being rude)...
perdix 31
Shoulda settled for a *******.
Accuraxy 10
I don't see why perdix is getting thumbed down. I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic and I found it funny.