Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML
Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
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Top comments
Il_Maestro 6
Is your wife a Mudblood?
mgkgambino 3
He got out of the nursing home a little too early?
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Comments (105)
mgkgambino 3
He got out of the nursing home a little too early?
skorka 5
There may be a little tension between the family's now..
ilovesuju 10
But didn't Op's grandpa have to breed to get his children?..
xoconnie 8
There must be some reason the family hates her... Unless of course, they're just being jerks!
airforce987 20
Typical Romania...
Sanch101 7
89 Exactly the comment I was going to make. By dint of being a grandfather he himself was a breeder. Hypocrisy is a wonderful thing.
FYLinAmajorWay 1
Good God I hope your grandfather never gets the chance to meet the Duggar family....yes my girlfriend watches way to much TLC.
raerae1987 1
What a lovely family.
FmaFangirl 9
Congratulations?
boating_guy 33
Shoulda listen to what they always told you… Don't be a fool, wrap your tool!
jazziness 12
Well they are married... I don't think protection is really a big deal, in their case, unless they didn't want children.
FMLshark 12
Hey 4, some people actually have planned kids. Crazy, I know.
darwinism 30
boating_guy, you should take your own advice and "wrap your tool". Your seemen should not be rocking anybodies boat in the near, or far, future.
BandWagonGuy 8
(Edit.) Sorry, nevermind.
Il_Maestro 6
Is your wife a Mudblood?
bazingabitches 17
Best comment
yankfan89 27
5-OP prefers the term muggle-born.
leilaostara 1
I agree.
xtalondriver 14
Sounds like grandfathers should be ahot
Il_Maestro 6
A hot mess? A hot piece of ass? THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
A hot dog. Grandfathers should be hot dogs. Cannibal!
LakersFanatiC 3
Doesnt matter had sex
lacrossebrah13 8
What?
olpally 33
Nope, not this time... Doesn't matter, trolled by grandpa...
xoconnie 8
#8, that phrase is over man.
Achall91 17
FML should really send an email to everyone using this site that that phrase is over because at this point its getting really annoying.
Blue329 15
Seriously stop with the "doesn't Matter had sex "comments , there starting to get really annoying.
chetchatter 5
8, really, that is one of the most over used shitty response ever
emeraldisle 30
Who cares what they think. Congrats to you and your wife.
MorteEtDabo 5
Apparently he cares
darwinism 30
So, since your grandfather bred to have your father, and he in turn bred to have you...in theory your grandfather should shoot your father and then himself, right? You should suggest this to him. FYL indeed OP. It seems that their ignorant gene has skipped one generation. Hopefully it will skip your child too. Congrats.
Marteeny23 19
No no no!!! We don't want grandpa to go crazy and shoot the whole family now. You have to be careful what you say he might take you literally.....
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
The term 'breeder' refers to someone currently able to breed. Grandpa has outlived this ability. Seems like he's bitter about having bred in the first place,.
TheDrifter 24
Or he's not the father of grandma's kids. Or even married to the other grandpa, as breeder is a slang term gay folk use to refer to straight folk here.
Llamacod 11
#71, unless gramps got himself a vasectomy he would, most likely, still be able to breed. generally speaking men are able to produce viable-ish sperm their whole lives. women are the ones that, eventually become non-fertile.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Ah, I stand corrected then.
shaddol3lade 7
Well you're married. I don't see why any of them would have a problem with it. Maybe try to ask why there is a problem. .