Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
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Top comments
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
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Comments (328)
Jorcar 8
Psychopath much?
hmmmmmmmmmmmm 0
shes a bitch...
dadof2 4
wow she sounds like a class act hope shes never in charge of car pool
Lily_lops95 0
Did you die a little inside and then get really pissed off and tell your wife that the cookie monsterl makes her gain ten pounds whenever there are clouds in the sky???
Blink182BlinkMe 1
Ur wife is crazy...
lobum 12
That's not true. Every time u see a rainbow, god is having gay sex.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I dont think that's an ok thing to say, you'll attract the religious trolls, then sirin or alan will close the comments. Watch what you type dude, seriously, you can offend people that way.
tinybear93 0
lol
vbmg152 19
What kind of Mother is she? That is so wrong! FML your daughter!
moonballsFTW 0
This lady sounds quite brilliant, ya know except for the fact she got her facts mixed up..
RoseBearChild 10
Wow, that really sucks! Might I suggest finding a resource that shows how rainbows are formed? You'd be surprised how well kids respond to science.